Correction to request letter for training course

Jamila2

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Hello
This is my letter please check it and correct it if possible

I'm xxxxxx,
I have BSCs Degree in xxxii from xxxii university.
I have great interest to request an admission for a training course in your prestigious university faculty of laboratory sciences department of haematology.
I would really appreciate that if you offer me a three month training course and I would be able to spend the full day working hours.
I found out about your training course through a friend of mine who works at your institute.
Training in your reputed university would provide me an opportunity to increase my knowledge, improve my skills and definitly boost my career prospect.
I'm willing to apply for this course because it's honor to me to educate in "name of university". university which is one of successful Arab university and also I'm so interested because I'm resident in "Country" and can easily obtain a visa to enter "Country of university", also because my family resident in "Country of university", so accommodation will not be a problem.
I give you my assurance that through the internship program I would work with my sincere dedication , respect the senior and don't harm the instruments.
Below are my contact details and mailing address for correspondence.
Thanks for your time and effort to consideration my letter.
I'm looking forward to receiving you reply...
 
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teechar

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Hello,
This is my letter. Please check it and correct it if possible.
Your letter is a little short and not very clear. What do you mean by "training course"? Are you applying for a specific course? If so, you need to use the exact course name.

You also refer to an internship program; what does that mean?

I also don't know what "don't harm the instruments" means. I think you may be using an online translator; if so, that doesn't work!
 

Jamila2

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Hello

I don't apply for a specific course just I want to do training.

Internship program is another word means training program as I know.

Regarding "don't harm instruments" this point specifically I couldn't how to say it and I didn't use online translation, I want to give them insurances to save the equipment inside the lab.

Please kindly I ask you to show me the perfect way to say that and how to make my letter very strong and convincing.
 
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Jamila2

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I didn't find the writing letter sub forum.

I'm sorry to post it here
 

teechar

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Hello

I don't apply for a specific course just I want to do training.

Internship program is another word means training program as I know.
So are you looking to do a three-month internship? If so, in which department/faculty?

Regarding "don't harm instruments" this point specifically I couldn't how to say it and I didn't use online translation, I want to give them insurances to save the equipment inside the lab.
Okay, I kind of understand that.

Please kindly I ask you to show me the perfect way to say that and how to make my letter very strong.
If you provide more details (write more words), your letter will become clearer and will make more sense.
 

Jamila2

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Thank you for quick response..
I edited the same letter here to be more clear.

I am waiting for your reply
 

emsr2d2

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Jamila, be patient. We are all volunteers here. We will get to your post when we're ready.
 

Jamila2

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OK, thanks .
I'm sorry for that and I appreciate your work:)
 

teechar

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Did you read my questions/comments in post #5?
 

emsr2d2

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I think Jamila added the information about the faculty/department (by editing post #1) as a result of your first comment in post #5. I didn't see the original version of post #1 so I'm not sure what other edits might have been made.

Jamila, for future reference, please don't edit the first post of your threads after people have posted responses. It can make the responses confusing and nonsensical. If you're asked to rewrite something or add more information, please do so in a new response.
 

Jamila2

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Thanks for give me this note.
I'm sorry for that
 

Jamila2

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Yes I did and added information about faculty and department at the original post and I'm sorry if I confused you.:)
 

teechar

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Dear Sir/Madam,

[STRIKE] I have BSCs Degree in xxxii from xxxii university.[/STRIKE]
I [STRIKE]have great interest to request an admission[/STRIKE] wish to apply for a full-time, three-month training course at the Department of Haematology, the Faculty of Laboratory Sciences in your prestigious university. [STRIKE]faculty of laboratory sciences department of haematology .[/STRIKE]
[STRIKE]I would really appreciate that if you offer me a three month training course and I would be able to spend the full day working hours.
[/STRIKE]
I found out about your training course through a friend of mine who works in that department. [STRIKE]at your institute.[/STRIKE]
Training in your reputed university would provide me an opportunity to increase my knowledge, improve my skills and definitely boost my career prospects.
I'm [STRIKE]willing[/STRIKE] motivated to apply for this course because [STRIKE]it's[/STRIKE] it would be an honor [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] for me to [STRIKE]educate[/STRIKE] study in "name of university" University, which is one of the most successful Arab universities. [STRIKE]and also[/STRIKE] I'm also interested because I'm resident in "Country" and can easily obtain a visa to enter "Country of university", [STRIKE]also[/STRIKE] and because my family are resident in "Country of university", so accommodation will not be a problem.

I give you my assurance that throughout the internship program, I would work hard with [STRIKE]my[/STRIKE] sincere dedication, and respect [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] my seniors and the integrity of the lab. [STRIKE]don't harm the instruments.[/STRIKE]

Below are my contact details and mailing address for correspondence.

Thanks for your time and [STRIKE]effort to[/STRIKE] kind consideration, and I look forward to your reply. [STRIKE]my letter.
I'm looking forward to receiving you reply...[/STRIKE]
.
 

emsr2d2

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I'd use "reputable university" or "highly-regarded university" rather than "reputed university".
 
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teechar

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Oops! I missed that.
 

Jamila2

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Thank you very much teacher.
I would like to ask you about the shortness of the letter what else should I add to make it perfect and convincing
 

teechar

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Thank you very much, teechar.
I would like to ask you about the shortness of the letter. What else should I add to make it [STRIKE]perfect and[/STRIKE] more convincing?

You can talk a little about yourself/your background and your achievements or suitability for this course. You can also mention something about your future goals/aspirations.
 

emsr2d2

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Are you certain that the university is currently offering internships in that department? I'm aware that you said a friend of yours told you about them but I would, in the first instance, make sure that such an internship is currently on offer before spending a lot of time on the application letter. Perhaps you could contact the university/faculty/department, find out if the opportunity exists and ask them what they need from you in order to apply.
 
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