Request for correction

[Draco Malfoy]

Divergent, V. Roth, chapter 2, part 2, summary

After she drank the clear liquid, an instant has passed, Beatrice is in an unreal world. However, she stands in the school cafeteria again. Behind she, around she, a woman's voice, insistently,says "choose". After, very strange situations happen. Two baskets appear, the woman's voice says "have it your way", and repeat "choose".

Baskets disappear and a dog appears, Beatrice's afraid of the dog's teeth. She runs, but dog will be faster than she.

Beatrice has make a decision, after that the dog to grow into a little dog. She pushes a door and she's in a bus, all the seats are taken. Sitting near she is a man with a newspaper, his face are scarred, seems a murder. However Beatrice don't see well his face.
The man asks her if she know the man in newspaper photo. Beatrice answer "nope", she lies. She repeats herself "no real, no real, ..."

 

[Tarheel]

Beatrice in Wonderland

Say:

behind her

 

[teechar]

Re: Beatrice in Wonderland

Is this homework?

 

[Draco Malfoy]

Re: Beatrice in Wonderland

The text don't is a homework I would like learn english. To practise writing I read books in english, after I try make a brief summary

 

[teechar]

The above text [STRIKE]don't[/STRIKE] is not homework. I would like to learn English. To practise writing, I read books in English, after which I try to make a brief summary.

Okay. Thanks for clarifying that.

Divergent by V. Roth, chapter 2, part 2, summary:

Soon after she [STRIKE]drank[/STRIKE] drinks the clear liquid, [STRIKE]an instant has passed,[/STRIKE] Beatrice is in an unreal world. However, she stands in the school cafeteria again. Behind her, [STRIKE]she, around she,[/STRIKE] a woman's voice insistently says "choose". Afterwards, something very strange [STRIKE]situations[/STRIKE] happens. Two baskets appear, and the woman's voice says "have it your way", and repeats "choose".

The baskets disappear and a dog appears. Beatrice's afraid of the dog's teeth. She runs, but the dog [STRIKE]will be[/STRIKE] is faster than her. [STRIKE]she.[/STRIKE]

Beatrice has make a decision, after that the dog to grow into a little dog. She pushes a door and she's in a bus, all the seats are taken. Sitting near [STRIKE]she[/STRIKE] her is a man with a newspaper, his face [STRIKE]are[/STRIKE] scarred; [STRIKE]seems[/STRIKE] a he looks like a murderer. However, Beatrice [STRIKE]don't[/STRIKE] doesn't/cannot see [STRIKE]well[/STRIKE] his face well.

The man asks her if she knows the man in newspaper photo [which man? That's ambiguous.]. Beatrice answer "nope", but she's lying. [STRIKE]lies.[/STRIKE] She repeats to herself "That's not real. That's not real."

I don't understand the parts in blue.

 

[Tarheel]

Re: Beatrice in Wonderland

The text reminds me of Alice in Wonderland. Thus the suggested title change.

Draco Malfoy, please take teechar's suggestions/corrections to heart. Read his post several times. Also, in the future do not use a title such as Request for correction. (If everybody did that it would become tedious very quickly.)

Welcome to the forum!

 

[Draco Malfoy]

Re: Beatrice in Wonderland

Thanks for reply. Then instead "Request for correction" how does should I write ?

 

[Draco Malfoy]

Thancks for correction, I am reading Divergent by Veronica Roth.

In blue parts :
The big dog becomes a small dog.
In the newspaper there is a photo of a evil man.

Owever Beatrice, after drinking a clear liquid, is in a inreal and fantastic world . This consists of the test to decide which faction she will live for the rest of her life.

Perhaps the parts in blue they could be to correct :

<< Beatrice has to make a decision. After that, the dog turns into a little dog.
She pushes a door, and then she's in
a bus, and all the seats are taken. Sitting near her is a
man with a newspaper, his face scarred, looking like a murderer.
However, Beatrice doesn't see his face very well.
The man asks her if she knows the man in the newspaper photo.
Beatrice answers "nope" (she lies).
She repeats to herself "this isn't real, this isn't real..." >>

 

[emsr2d2]

Re: Beatrice in Wonderland

Thanks for reply. Then instead "Request for correction" how does should I write ?

Titles should be unique and specific to their thread. For your title, you could have used "Divergent, V. Roth, chapter 2, part 2, summary".

 

[Tarheel]

Re: Beatrice in Wonderland

Thanks for the reply. Instead of "Request for correction" what should I write ?

Well, I have already made my suggestion. Please start another thread for additional questions.

 

[teechar]

Thanks for your correction. I am reading Divergent by Veronica Roth.

Perhaps the parts in blue [STRIKE]they[/STRIKE] could read: [STRIKE]be to correct :[/STRIKE]

Beatrice has to make a decision. After that, the dog turns into a little dog.
She pushes a door, and then she's [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE]
on a bus, and all the seats are taken. Sitting near her is a
man with a newspaper, his face scarred, looking like a murderer.
However, Beatrice doesn't see his face very well.
The man asks her if she knows the man in the newspaper photo.
Beatrice answers "Nope", but she's lying.
She repeats to herself "This isn't real. This isn't real."

See above.

 

[Tarheel]

Re: Beatrice in Wonderland

Do you mean to say that after Beatrice makes her decision (what decision?) the big dog turned into a little dog? Does the man having a scarred face make him look like a murderer?