[Grammar] Describe a time when you had to do something in a hurry.

yellowpii

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Can you please grade my writing and correct the grammar and vocabulary? Thank you so much!
This writing is my preparation for IELTS speaking part 2:
I’m going to talk about a time when I had to hurry to get ready for an important interview of project named IYM (International Youth Master) which was organized by Global Youth Compass (GYC) this summer. It was Sunday morning right before summer vacation, my interview was set at 10:20 and I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ongoings. The problem was that guard didn’t let me out, he asked for permission or something like this. If you want to go outside, you must prove that you are not on duty, but you know, usual Sunday does not like that. I was stuck for 30 minutes to persuade him that I have a very important appointment but not succeed, luckily my friend helped me to ask the board for my permission. Then I quickly left dormitory and run to the bus stop immediately. I can still remember the moment when the guard called me back and I saw the time: I was filled with a sense of panic and fear as I realized that I was captured. Then, when I left the dormitory and walked towards the bus, I felt thankful to my dear friend and blessed people who didn’t get out yet.
 

teechar

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Can you please grade my writing and correct the grammar and vocabulary? Thank you so much!
This writing is my preparation for IELTS speaking part 2:
I’m going to talk about a time when I had to hurry to get ready for an important interview [STRIKE]of[/STRIKE] for a project [STRIKE]named[/STRIKE] called IYM (International Youth Master) which was organized by Global Youth Compass (GYC) this summer. It was a Sunday morning, right before the summer vacation, and my interview was [STRIKE]set[/STRIKE] at 10:20. [STRIKE]and[/STRIKE] I was supposed to be there 30 minutes beforehand. [STRIKE]ongoings.[/STRIKE] The problem was that the guard [what guard?] didn’t let me out. He [STRIKE]asked for[/STRIKE] said I needed permission to go out, or something like this. "If you want to go outside, you must prove that you are not on duty, but you know, usual Sunday does not like that. I was stuck for 30 minutes, trying to persuade him that I [STRIKE]have[/STRIKE] had a very important appointment, but I did not succeed. Luckily, my friend helped me to ask the board for [STRIKE]my[/STRIKE] permission. Then, I quickly left the dormitory and [STRIKE]run[/STRIKE] ran to the bus stop immediately. I can still remember the moment when the guard called me back and I saw the time: I was filled with a sense of panic and fear as I realized that I was incarcerated. [STRIKE]captured.[/STRIKE] Then, when I left the dormitory and walked towards the bus, I felt thankful to my dear friend and blessed people who didn’t get out yet.
I do not understand the parts in blue. Also, I'm not sure that's a good topic to talk about. Why could you not leave the dorm?!
 

yellowpii

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I do not understand the parts in blue. Also, I'm not sure that's a good topic to talk about. Why could you not leave the dorm?!

Thank you for correcting my mistakes. Let me explain. My university is a training school for new police recruits called a police academy.Thereford the security problem is always on the top, you can't leave the dorm till you have had permission. And the guard, I think he's more powerfull than a form-master, really!
 

teechar

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Thank you for correcting my mistakes. Let me explain. My university is a training school for new police recruits. It's [STRIKE]called[/STRIKE] a police academy. Therefor, the security problem is always a major concern. [STRIKE]on the top,[/STRIKE] You can't leave the dorm [STRIKE]till you have had[/STRIKE] without permission. And the guard, I think he's more powerful than a form-master, really!
Okay, I understand now. But how is an IELTS examiner going to know that? I think you should amend your text to clarify that and the bits above I highlighted in blue. You can post the amended version below if you wish.
 
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