developing communication skills and becoming more sociable

[Biopolitics]

The topic I suggest is by no means new. I'd just like to pay some attention (and to let some other forum members give a thought) to the increasing communication barrier building up among people in the world nowadays. Too much reliance on smartphones and AI obviously doesn't always promote communication, one finds it inceasingly difficult to reach out to other people, to become emotionally involved with them. This world is increasingly becoming a world of lonely self-centered people. Apparent politeness and courteousness only comouflage deep-seated indifference, lack of concern, and tendency to use others only as means for achieving your goals. Pehaps people with moderate psychological problems, such ASD sufferers that are becoming more and more numerous, especially acutely sense the coldness of the everyday social atmosphere, at least as far as Europe is concerned. Personally, I do feel how a widening gap is separating people in my country, formerly based on very close ties among village or town community members and on an ethics encouraging you to help a neighbour or just someone in need of your help.
Could you please criticize my language

 

[emsr2d2]

The topic I am suggesting is by no means new. I'd just like to pay some draw people's attention to (and to let some encourage other forum members give a thought to think about) to the increasing communication barrier building up among people in the world nowadays. Too much reliance on smartphones and AI obviously doesn't always promote communication; one finds it inceasingly difficult to reach out to other people and to become emotionally involved with them. This world is increasingly becoming a world one of lonely self-centered people. Apparent politeness and courteousness courtesy only camouflage deep-seated indifference, lack of concern, and a tendency to use others only as means for achieving your goals. Perhaps people with moderate psychological problems, such as ASD, sufferers that are becoming more and more numerous, especially because they acutely sense the coldness of the everyday social atmosphere, at least as far as Europe is concerned. Personally, I do feel how a widening gap is separating people in my country, formerly based on very close ties among village or town community members and on an ethics encouraging you to help a neighbour or just someone in need of your help.

Could you please criticize correct my language text?

Note my changes above. I don't understand the underlined section at all. Please try and write it a different way.

 

[Tarheel]

Unfortunately, you missed the mark.

Notice that the previous sentence has only five words in it. To say what you want to say you don't need to make your sentences long and involved. Instead, strive for clarity. As someone once said, brevity is the soul of wit.

 

[Biopolitics]

Note my changes above. I don't understand the underlined section at all. Please try and write it a different way.

Thanks so much for correcting me. I first thought the verb suggest could be used in the Present Indefinite tense but perhaps this only applies to sentences like I suggest doing something not to the construction I tried to use above. Anyway, I was torn apart by two conflicting motivations -- to test my written English and just to express my thoughts. A couple of days ago I visited my home village in the middle of the Austrian Alps. That's what I had in mind when unsuccessfully creating the sentence underlined by the critic. I meant the spirit of cameraderie and the sense of belonging that was so characteristic of close-knit neighborhood communities of the Austrian highland region. I remember very clearly that, some twenty years ago, it was still common even for people on the street to start talking with each other in a friendly and informal way. Austrian villagers were typically open-hearted and hospitable, they showed real concern even for those they met for the first time. I recall myself sitting on a bench and sipping coffee when I spotted a young guy on the street who looked very unhappy. I spoke to him and wanted to know what was eating him. I shared my coffeee with the guy, and he offered his Kuchen (roughly, a cake). It turned out he had an unlucky love story. Even though he was a complete stranger, I started giving him advice as to how to deal successfully with young girls and how finally to charm them (as if I belonged to some consulting center). I even wanted him to promise that he would later show up again and tell me about his progress on the love front. I know for certain that such a situation would be impossible nowadays, and the guy talking about his romance with stranger would be diagnosed with some psychiatric problem. Sorry for being so wordy. This is my bad rural habit, and I'm trying my best to overcome it. If you have time, could you (a) correct the text (just for the sake of it, I'm not going to get it published anywhere) and (b) criticize my attitude

 

[Tarheel]

I would use "conflicted" instead of "torn apart". Frankly, I don't think I would have a reason to use "torn apart" ever.

 

[Biopolitics]

I was taught that one should avoid using the same word twice in the same sentence, in my case, be confliced by conflicting motivations sounds weird but perhaps only to me, a notorious non-native speaker. You made no comments otherwise which seems somewhat encouraging to me. And since you're from the states, what about rural places there, somewhere, for example, on the Oregon plains? Are locals friendlier and more outgoing than in big stone jungles? (sorry, is the word jungle used in the plural?)

 

[Tarheel]

In an ideal world I would be able to think of everything, and I would never have any trouble thinking of exactly the right word.

I would probably use "conflicted" or "conflicting motivations", but not both.

I don't think you are a notorious non-native speaker. In fact, I don't think "notorious" works there at all

Maybe people are a little bit friendlier in small towns.

 

[Biopolitics]

Just a little bit? I thought there could be a big difference. And I have a personal question addressed to all those dealing with more than one foreign language? Is it only my problem that actively using language No.1 makes it very difficult to keep up your knowledge in language No. 2? I've been trying, for a very long time, to come to terms with Russian, rather unsuccessfully (so that my Russian ex-friend kept laughing at me), but I've noticed that my English is getting much worse whenever I have to concentrate on a different foreign language. Besides, the brain starts getting out of control and retrieviing words from the memory that are totally irrelevant to the language you're using at a given moment. I'm going to face a still more serious challenge very soon because I'll be going to China again. Chinese is utterly incompatible with English, you end up speaking a mixture of these languages, both with Chinese and English partners. Could someone give me some advice? Perhaps, I should say to myself English is language No. 1 in this world and if I try to combine it with some different language, I'll only mess it up

 

[Tarheel]

We have definitely changed the subject.

I am not an expert on life in small towns. In any case, I wouldn't assume they are all alike.

"I have a question" is not itself a question.

Your "come to terms with" does not work there. Perhaps you mean you have been trying to master Russian without succeeding.

I don't think your English is bad. It's certainly not perfect, but that's why you're here, isn't it?

 

[Biopolitics]

Dear forum members,
I assume there could be two main reasons for joining your useful forum: (1) brushing up the language at several different levels: dealing with the vocab, style, register, punctuation, and even to some extent phonetics because sometines you're discussing pronunciation (I wish there were also options for listening to recorded speech or sending speeech samples for your evaluation) and (2) sharing information that could be of some interest to an English-speaking audience. That's why I've recently chosen a subject which relates both to general human features such as desire to communicate and socialize with others and to national differences in the degree of communicability and extent to which one protects one's privacy. I think you could modify the topic and I would willingly pick up any of your suggestions.
BTW, I'm now cultivating algae, which is the reason why I'm staying in a big country with so many suitable waterbodies (ponds, lakes, etc.) not claimed by anybody as private property. If appropriate, I could tell you in detail why I believe algae have so much potential for the future, both healthwise and as a cheap source of food

 

[emsr2d2]

The main purpose of the forum is to help learners with their English. Of course, sometimes people want to talk about something that isn't language-related. That's what the "General Members Discussions" sub-forum is for.

 

[Tarheel]

People, in fact, do record speech for others to listen to. They post those audio recordings in the pronunciation subforum.

 

[jutfrank]

I could tell you in detail why I believe algae have so much potential for the future, both healthwise and as a cheap source of food

If you post in the General Members Discussions section, I'll be interested to hear about this.

 

[Biopolitics]

It seems comparatively difficult to create a really interesting text on a scientific subject (algae) but I generally like dealing with challenges. I've started a new thread in the section suggested by you and I really hope you'll visit it and express your authoritative opinion both on the subject and the language of the text.