Diary - A heavy storm hit Hong Kong last night unexpectedly.

Maybo

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Joined
Feb 23, 2017
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Student or Learner
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Chinese
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Hong Kong
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Hong Kong
This is an entry from my diary. Please check it and correct any mistakes.

A heavy storm hit Hong Kong last night unexpectedly. Many people didn't prepare for it so some places were flooded and that killed some animals. I was at home last night and I'd never seen so much rain pouring down from the top of the balcony, which looked like a waterfall. Fortunately, there was no strong wind so not many trees were collapsed.
 
The first sentence is perfect.

As for the second sentence, I suppose "didn't prepare" is not terrible, but I would prefer "hadn't prepared" or "weren't prepared" there.

For the next one I suppose you mean the roof over the balcony. Put a period (full stop) after "balcony" and then say, "It looked like a waterfall."

Finally, don't say, ",were collapsed" . Say "collapsed" or "fell" or "fell down" or "were blown over by the wind".

There was once a storm in Saint Louis when a tree in the backyard lost one of its limbs. It was so big it was like another tree.
 
A heavy storm unexpectedly hit Hong Kong last night. unexpectedly. Many people didn't prepare weren't prepared/hadn't prepared for it so some places were flooded and that killed some animals drowned [as a result]. I was at home last night and I'd never seen so much rain pouring down from the top of the balcony; which it looked like a waterfall. Fortunately, there was no the wind wasn't strong wind so not many trees were collapsed blown down.
See above.

Note that "which looked like a waterfall", the way you'd written it, suggested that the balcony itself looked like a waterfall (even without the rain pouring off it).
 
I can't imagine how the water gushed down from the "top of the balcony". What is above the balcony? Isn't it another balcony above? Trees collapse on their own;they get blown/forced down.
 
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There is more than one way to phrase the first sentence. (I didn't say there wasn't.) Both of them are perfectly good.

@Maybo Not that I doubted you, but there really was a severe storm that took people by surprise. (One person on Facebook declared herself safe from the storm.)
 
I can't imagine how the water gushed down from the "top of the balcony". What is above the balcony? Isn't it there another balcony above? Trees don't collapse on their own; space needed here they get blown /forced down.
 
I can't imagine how the water gushed down from the "top of the balcony". What is above the balcony? Isn't it another balcony above? Trees collapse on their own;they get blown/forced down.
There is another balcony above mine. Their drainage of balcony was clogged, and water overflowed.
 
In that case, I'd say that water was pouring down from the balcony above.
 
In that case, I'd say that water was pouring down from the balcony above.
But that water mixed with rain water because it was raining during that period.
 
In fact, all of it was rain water, wasn't it?
 
But that water mixed with rain water because it was raining during that period.
There's no mention of any other water. I wouldn't expect water to be pouring from the balcony above when there isn't a rainstorm. If it is, they have a serious problem with their guttering.
 
There is another balcony above mine. Their drainage of balcony was clogged, and water overflowed.
It's clear now what "from the top of the balcony" means. The balcony of the floor above was flooded due of a blocked drainage outlet causing water to overflow to your balcony. I would say "from the flooded balcony above", to make it clearer.
The balcony of an apartment is covered by the balcony of the unit above, so very little water comes in, normally. However, when there is heavy rain with strong wind, rainwater comes splashing in and land on the balcony floor, which drains off to an outlet/floor trap connected to a main downpipe who goes down the bottom of the building.
Gutters are receptacles/channels which collect water from the roof to be drained off to a rainwater discharge system.
 
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That's some heavy rain.
 
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