Diary - Last night, I hung out with my friends

[Maybo]

This is an entry from my diary. Please check it and correct any mistakes.

Last night, I hung out with my friends and we talked about our recent life. John said yesterday he had a fashion model job, which earned him HKD$1000 per hour. I was surprised to hear that because, to me, his physique didn't look quite good enough to be a fashion model. He seemed to pick up on the disbelief in our eyes, so he explained that the job was for kid's clothes.

 

[tedmc]

This is an entry from my diary. Please check it and correct any mistakes.

Last night, I hung out with my friends and we talked about our recent life. John said yesterday he had a fashion model job (no comma) which earned him HKD$1000 per hour. I was surprised to hear that because, to me, his physique didn't (doesn't) look quite good enough to be a fashion model. He seemed to have picked up on the disbelief in our eyes, so he explained that the job was for kid's clothes.

 

[Maybo]

"Yesterday" refers to the day before last night.

 

[tedmc]

"Yesterday" refers to the day before last night.

In indirect speech. "yesterday" becomes "the day before".

 

[Tarheel]

I might say he doesn't have an impressive physique. He doesn't look like a fashion model.

 

[emsr2d2]

Last night, I hung out with my friends and we talked about our recent life what's been going on in our lives recently. John said yesterday he had a fashion he'd had a modelling job that day, which earned him HKD$1000 per hour. I was surprised to hear that because, to me,his I don't think he has the physique didn't look quite good enough to be a fashion model. He seemed to pick up on the disbelief in our eyes, so he explained that the job was for kids' clothes.

Note my changes above. The last bit doesn't make sense. If John isn't a child, he can't have been modelling kids' clothes. What was he actually doing?

 

[Maybo]

If John isn't a child, he can't have been modelling kids' clothes. What was he actually doing?

He did model kids’ clothes because he looks very young and is not tall. Maybe he’s pretending to be 11-14 year-old kids.

 

[emsr2d2]

He did model kids’ clothes because he looks very young and is he's not tall. Maybe he’s he was pretending to be an 11-14 year-old kids child.