Diary - Last night, I packed up some thin blankets

[Maybo]

This is an entry from my diary. Please check it and correct any mistakes.

Last night, I packed up some thin blankets and stashed them in the kitchen. When I saw a chair in the pantry, I deposited them on it. My mum stopped me and said it was her grandparents' seat. I was confused and said "What?" They were dead, I thought to myself. Who would sit there? Then, I looked inside the pantry and found a small table sat across the chair. On the table, there were flowers, fruit, biscuits and wine. It just looked like a mini altar. I believe those things were offerings used to honour her grandparents. I appreciate her kind gestures but now every time I see that seat, I get the heebie-jeebies.

 

[tedmc]

This is an entry from my diary. Please check it and correct any mistakes.

Last night, I packed up some thin blankets and stashed them away in the kitchen. When I saw a chair in the pantry, I deposited them on it. My mum stopped me and said it was her grandparents' seat. I was confused and said "What?" They were dead, I thought to myself. Who would sit there? Then, I looked inside the pantry and found a small table sat across from the chair. On the table, there were flowers, fruits, biscuits and wine. It just looked like a mini altar. I believe those things were offerings used to honour her grandparents. I appreciate her kind gestures but now every time I see that seat, I get the heebie-jeebies.

 

[emsr2d2]

Had you never been in the pantry before?

 

[Maybo]

Had you never been in the pantry before?

I had been there a year ago.

 

[emsr2d2]

I had been there a year ago.

Presumably, at that point, there was no altar. I'm only digging into this because sometimes your pieces contain parts that are inexplicable. Of course, you know what you mean but the reader doesn't!

Last night, I packed up some thin blankets and stashed them in the kitchen. When I saw a chair in the pantry, I deposited them on it. My mum stopped me and said it was her grandparents' seat. I was confused and said "What?" They were dead, I thought to myself. Who would sit there? Then, I looked inside the pantry and found a small table sat across the chair. On the table, there were flowers, fruit, biscuits and wine. It just looked like a mini altar. I believe those things were offerings used to honour her grandparents. I appreciate her kind gestures but now every time I see that seat, I get the heebie-jeebies.

Here were all the questions that popped into my head when I first read your piece:

1. Why were you "packing up" thin blankets? That suggested to me that you were putting them in a suitcase.
2. Why did you hide (stash) them in the kitchen?
3. When did you move from the kitchen to the pantry, or could you see into the pantry from the kitchen?
4. You said that you'd already "stashed" the blankets in the kitchen but you then said you put them on a chair in the pantry. Which was it?
5. Had you never been in the pantry before?
6. If you'd been in there, had you never seen that chair in the pantry before?
7. Did the chair actually belong to your grandparents when they were alive?
8. Did your grandparents both sit on a single chair at the same time?
9. Couldn't you see the table that was by the chair already?
10. Didn't you ask your mum what it was all for?
11. Why does the chair scare you?

I hope you can see how your piece brought up more questions than answers!

 

[Maybo]

1. Why were you "packing up" thin blankets? That suggested to me that you were putting them in a suitcase.
2. Why did you hide (stash) them in the kitchen?
3. When did you move from the kitchen to the pantry, or could you see into the pantry from the kitchen?
4. You said that you'd already "stashed" the blankets in the kitchen but you then said you put them on a chair in the pantry. Which was it?

The pantry is in the kitchen. A narrow compartment. It is used to store some miscellaneous items. Since it's winter and my room is packed, I don't use the thin blankets so I put them to the pantry.

The pantry is like this. When I stand near the rack, I can only see the chair side. If I need to see what else in the right hand side, I need to go inside the pantry or at least peek my head in.


Since my mum didn’t allow me to place the blankets on the chair, I put it under the chair.
I wrapped the blankets in plastic bags.

5. Had you never been in the pantry before?
6. If you'd been in there, had you never seen that chair in the pantry before?

The last time I was there was a year ago. There were the chair and table, but no food, drinks or flowers.

7. Did the chair actually belong to your grandparents when they were alive?

No. I've never seen them before.

8. Did your grandparents both sit on a single chair at the same time?

I don't know. I didn't ask my mum.

10. Didn't you ask your mum what it was all for?

No. She said I couldn't eat them yet so I supposed it was for my grandparents. In Chinese culture, people think that spirits can eat food by smelling it. Also, the setting on the table was just how Chinese people would commemorate the dead.

11. Why does the chair scare you?

It's because she said it was my grandparents' seat, which means they might sit there looking at me sometimes.

 

[Tarheel]

Blankets are "them" and not "it". A chair is an "it" and not "them".

Your pantry is a big one. Pantries aren't usually that big. If you put a chair in one there's no room for people.

 

[emsr2d2]

In the UK, pantries are more like a large-ish cupboard. They're full of food. They wouldn't have space for a chair, let alone a table loaded with items suggesting an altar.

 

[emsr2d2]

The pantry is in the kitchen. It's a narrow compartment. It is used to store some miscellaneous items. Since it's winter and my room is packed, I don't use I'm not using the thin blankets so I put them to in the pantry because there's no space in my room.

Pantries in the UK are used to store food, not miscellaneous items.

The pantry is like this. When I stand near the rack, I can only see the chair side. If I need to see what else is in on the right-hand side, I need to go inside the pantry or at least peek my head in.

Note my corrections above.

Since my mum didn’t allow me to place the blankets on the chair, I put it them under the chair,
I wrapped the blankets in plastic bags.

Note my corrections above.

The last time I was in there was a year ago. There were The chair and table were there, but no food, drinks or flowers.

Note my corrections above.

No. I've never seen them before.
I don't know. I didn't ask my mum.

No. She said I couldn't eat them yet so I supposed assumed it was they were for my grandparents. In Chinese culture, people think that spirits can eat food by smelling it. Also, the setting on the table was just how Chinese people would commemorate the dead.

Note my corrections above.

It's because she said it was my grandparents' seat, which means they might sit there looking at me sometimes.

Note my corrections above.
I don't understand the final underlined part at all. Are you saying that the simple phrase "It's your grandparents' chair" inherently means that they sit on it to watch you? If so, they must have been quite bored if you hadn't been in there for a year!

 

[Maybo]

don't understand the final underlined part at all. Are you saying that the simple phrase "It's your grandparents' chair" inherently means that they sit on it to watch you? If so, they must have been quite bored if you hadn't been in there for a year!

My mum assigns the seat for my grandparents to sit so she doesn’t allow me to place the blankets on the chairs. Not necessarily that they watch me but it might happen. I can’t see spirits so I don’t know what they would do. I don’t even know if my grandparents’ spirits are here.

 

[Maybo]

In the UK, pantries are more like a large-ish cupboard. They're full of food. They wouldn't have space for a chair, let alone a table loaded with items suggesting an altar.

The room used to store food mainly but we consume food too fast so we put other things in the room.

 

[emsr2d2]

My mum assigns the seat for my grandparents to sit so she doesn’t allow me to place the blankets on the chairs.

The underlined part of that sentence isn't grammatical and the whole sentence doesn't make sense. Here's what I think you mean:
I think my mum invented the story about my grandparents sitting on that chair so that she could tell me I wasn't allowed to put the blankets on it.

It doesn't Not necessarily mean that they watch me but it they might. happen.

See above.

I can’t see spirits so I don’t know what they would do. I don’t even know if my grandparents’ spirits are here.

Ah, so your mum can make up just about anything about spirits if she thinks it'll affect your behaviour.

 

[Maybo]

I think my mum invented the story about my grandparents sitting on that chair so that she could tell me I wasn't allowed to put the blankets on it.

It’s like she thinks that she puts food in that small table, my grandparents might eat and that she puts the chair there, my grandparents might sit. If I put something on there, they can’t sit. It’s disrespectful.

 

[emsr2d2]

It’s like she thinks that if she puts food in on that small table, my grandparents might eat it and that if she puts the chair there, my grandparents might sit on it. If I put something on there on the chair, they can’t sit there. It’s disrespectful.