[Essay] Dream House

jazizi.zi

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Nov 1, 2017
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Heyho!:)
I have fall break now so I was wondering about develope my English skills, so I wrote a journal anouz my dream house. I don’t know if it’s correct or not so I decided to show it to you:) I’m looking forward to see your corrections. Thank you very much!
Jazz

Here is my essay:
I have never been thinking about my dream house, because I want to be a full time traveler and live in different houses, hostels, maybe in tents. But if I need to choose I would pick an Italian style, colorful house with so called clotheslines.
For the first: I would like it to be on a hill, in a big city or in a small village, for example in Kaş, Turkey, in Oia, Greece, in Shirakawa, Japan or on a border of two countries. The colours of the hard-bricked walls would be goldenrod, olive and salmon. From inside I want the colours be a little bit lighter like aquamarine and yellowfin, becausethen the rooms would seem to be much more bigger. I love watching sunsets and sunrises, that’s why I would have giant windows with light curtains. I would have a big garden which I would grow vegetables and flowers in.
From inside: the house would have at least two floors. On the first fllor there’d be my American kitchen with the living room, one bathroom, the guestrooms with wardrobes and a gym with a treadmill and a stationary bicycle. On the second there would be an artist hall with my musical instruments and painting supplies, three bedrooms and a bathroom. When you’re going to the 2nd floor you would need to take the stairs behind a secret door. On the walls there would be a lot of family photos amd paintings by Van Gogh and me. I would like to have a library on the second which would is larger than any other rooms. The library opens to the big balcony. There would be beautiful view to the town amd of course fresh air because of the mountains.
 

Tarheel

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Say:

I am on fall break now, so I am taking the time to develop my English skills. I have written an essay about my dream house, and I am looking forward to your corrections.
 

emsr2d2

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[STRIKE]Heyho[/STRIKE] Hello! [STRIKE]:)[/STRIKE]
I have fall break now [STRIKE]so[/STRIKE] and I was [STRIKE]wondering[/STRIKE] thinking about developing my English skills, so I wrote [STRIKE]a journal[/STRIKE] an essay [STRIKE]anouz[/STRIKE] about my dream house. I don’t know if it’s correct or not so I decided to show it to you. [STRIKE]:)[/STRIKE] I’m looking forward to seeing your corrections. Thank you very much!
Jazz

Here is my essay:

I have never [STRIKE]been thinking[/STRIKE] thought about my dream house (no comma here) because I want to be a full time traveler and live in different houses, hostels, maybe even in tents. [STRIKE]But[/STRIKE] However, if I needed to choose, I would pick an Italian-style, colorful house with so called clotheslines. I don't know what the underlined part means.

[STRIKE]For the first:[/STRIKE] I would like it to be on a hill, in a big city or in a small village, for example in Kaş, Turkey, in Oia, Greece, in Shirakawa, Japan or on [STRIKE]a[/STRIKE] the border [STRIKE]of[/STRIKE] between two countries. The colours of the hard-bricked walls would be goldenrod (I don't think most people would know what colour that is), olive and salmon. [STRIKE]From[/STRIKE] On the inside, I want the colours be a little bit lighter, [STRIKE]like[/STRIKE] aquamarine and yellowfin (again, I don't think most people know what colour that is), because then the rooms would seem [STRIKE]to be[/STRIKE] much [STRIKE]more[/STRIKE] bigger. I love watching sunsets and sunrises, that’s why I would have giant windows with light curtains. I would have a big garden, in which I would grow vegetables and flowers. [STRIKE]in.[/STRIKE]

[STRIKE]From inside:[/STRIKE] The house would have at least two floors. On the first [STRIKE]fllor[/STRIKE] floor, [STRIKE]there’d[/STRIKE] there would be [STRIKE]my[/STRIKE] an American kitchen (what is an "American kitchen"?) [STRIKE]with[/STRIKE] and the living room, [STRIKE][STRIKE]one[/STRIKE][/STRIKE] bathroom, [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] guestrooms, [STRIKE]with wardrobes[/STRIKE] and a gym with a treadmill and a stationary bicycle. On the second floor, there would be an artist hall (I don't know what that is) with my musical instruments and painting supplies, three bedrooms and a bathroom. [STRIKE]When you’re going to[/STRIKE]

To reach the [STRIKE]2nd[/STRIKE] second floor, you would need to take the stairs, which would be hidden behind a secret door. On the walls there would be a lot of family photos [STRIKE]amd[/STRIKE] and paintings by Van Gogh and by me. On the second floor, I would also like to have a library [STRIKE]on[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]the second[/STRIKE], which would [STRIKE]is[/STRIKE] be larger than [STRIKE]any[/STRIKE] the other rooms. The library would [STRIKE]opens[/STRIKE] open onto [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] a big balcony. There would be beautiful views to the town [STRIKE]amd[/STRIKE] and, of course, there would be a lot of fresh air because of the house's proximity to the mountains.

Welcome to the forum. :hi:

Please see my comments and corrections above.
 
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