E-mail for improvement works

[chowbarry]

Please help me improve the following e-mail for improvement works. Thank you.

1) We wish to solicit your assistance in lifting the height of the stone benches at the plaza as we have recently encountered several complaints from the plaza users, particularly the elderly person, about the exceptionally low height of the benches, which may affect their safety. Please conduct a study on their suggestion to increase the height of the benches for the public safety concern.

2) We would like to ask for your urgent assistance to install a sub-divided water pipe to irrigate the plants at the plaza. As we all know that the main water pipe at the plaza has been found leakage and an excavation work for rectifiying the water pipe is required. However, the procedure for obtaining the excavation work permit may last for 3-6 months and the main water pipe should be better switched off during this period, which abandon our daily watering work on the plants there. As such, we wish you could consider to build up a temporary sub-divided water pipe at an appropriate place of the plaza, enabling us to continue irrigating the plants during the current dry season. Thank you.

 

[emsr2d2]

1) We [STRIKE]wish[/STRIKE] are writing to [STRIKE]solicit[/STRIKE] ask for your assistance in [STRIKE]lifting[/STRIKE] raising the height of the stone benches at the plaza. [STRIKE]as[/STRIKE] We have recently [STRIKE]encountered[/STRIKE] received several complaints from [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] plaza users, particularly [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] elderly [STRIKE]person[/STRIKE] people, about the exceptionally low height of the benches, which may affect their safety. Please conduct a study [strike]on[/strike] into their suggestion to increase the height of the benches for the benefit of public safety. [STRIKE]concern.[/STRIKE]

Note my changes to paragraph 1 above.

 

[teechar]

And here are some suggestions for the second.

2) We would like to ask for your urgent assistance to install a [STRIKE]sub-divided[/STRIKE] provisional water pipe to irrigatethe plants at the plaza. As we all know, [STRIKE]that[/STRIKE] the mains water pipe at the plaza has been found to be leaking, [STRIKE]age[/STRIKE] and an excavation work for rectifying the water pipe is required. However, the procedure for obtaining the excavation work permit may [STRIKE]last for[/STRIKE] take 3-6 months, and the mains water pipe [STRIKE]should be better[/STRIKE] must be switched off during [STRIKE]this[/STRIKE] that period, which [STRIKE]abandon[/STRIKE] would prevent us [STRIKE]our daily[/STRIKE] from watering [STRIKE]work on[/STRIKE] the plants there. As such, we [STRIKE]wish[/STRIKE] hope you [STRIKE]could consider to build up[/STRIKE] can install a temporary [STRIKE]sub-divided[/STRIKE] water pipe at an appropriate place [STRIKE]of[/STRIKE] in the plaza, to enable [STRIKE]ing[/STRIKE] us to continue irrigating the plants during the current dry season. Thank you.