Everyone agrees

[Bassim]

These sentences popped up in my mind, but I believe they sound awkward. Would you please correct them so that they sound more natural?

Everyone agrees that journalists should scrutinize politicians and power. But the problem occurs when they themselves become intoxicated with power, or turn into the servants of those they should criticize. In both cases they lose their discernment.

 

[Bassim]

Excuse me for repeating my question from yesterday. I am only wondering if my sentence is grammatically correct.

 

[J&K Tutoring]

But the problem occurs...

This sentence introduces a new topic, so the indefinite article a should be used.

 

[MikeNewYork]

With J&K's correction, your sentences are fine.

 

[TheParser]

***** NOT A TEACHER *****

I agree that your sentences are excellent and would greatly please any university instructor.

But -- in my opinion -- if you were talking with ordinary people, they might not find your sentences too "natural" -- especially the last sentence with that "big" word "discernment."

I think that we ordinary people might be more comfortable with something like:

"Everyone agrees that journalists should keep an eye on politicians and the use of government power. A problem occurs, however, when people in the media become drunk with power and become friends of the rich and powerful. In such cases, journalists lose the ability to make sound judgments."

 

[tedmc]

You can scrutinize people but not power. It is the use or misuse or power that warrants attention.
There is an ambiquity in the 2nd sentence which referred to "they", which could mean journalists or politicians. Parser's "people in the media" has made that clear.

 

[Bassim]

tedmc,
With all respect, I think you are wrong. You can scrutinize power also.

 

[tedmc]

tedmc,
With all respect, I think you are wrong. You can scrutinize power also.

Could you please explain why you say so?

 

[Bassim]

You wrote that one can scrutinize people but not power. But you can scrutinize many things. You can scrutinize an idea, policies, life, projects... My sentence starts with "....journalists should scrutinize politicians and power." So it is clear what kind of power I am talking about. You can scrutinize human beings, but also abstract ideas and other things.

 

[Matthew Wai]

'scrutinize
to examine someone or something very carefully'── quoted from http://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/scrutinize

If the above definition is correct, I would deem it possible to scrutinize power, but I am not a teacher.

 

[tedmc]

You can examine or write about anything under the sun, but the question is what makes something topical, or warrants attention as I said.