hafts of dawn light

alpacinou

Key Member
Joined
Sep 30, 2019
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Persian
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Iran
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Is this correct and natural

Shafts of dawn light ghosted in through the half-open window, catching her brown eyes. In them, Gary saw a vulnerability that she couldn't hide.
 

Tarheel

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Is this correct and natural?

Shafts of dawn light ghosted in through the half-open window, catching her brown eyes. In them, Gary saw a vulnerability that she couldn't hide.

It's natural enough for creative writing.
 

emsr2d2

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Jul 28, 2009
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English Teacher
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British English
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UK
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UK
There's a letter missing from your title.
 

Tarheel

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Interested in Language
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It's a new phrase.
;-)
 
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