His wife's having a rough time with it

[Dark_Fury]

Hello, this comes from a movie called The Skeleton Key.

The wife of a dying man (they live in a residence in Louisiana) hires a hospice caretaker.

Estate lawyer: His wife's having kind of a rough time with it.
Newly hired caretaker Caroline: Most people do.

Could you tell me what he means by it? That it's hard for his wife emotionally? Or is it about the chores, the housekeeping, etc?

Thank you.

 

[Raymott]

Do you mean care-giver? I don't understand why she'd hire a hospice caretaker (a person who takes care of a hospice).
Anyhow, we don't know in what way she is having a rough time. One could guess, given that her husband's dying, but it's not specified.

 

[Rover_KE]

'Caretaker' seems to be the AmE equivalent of 'care-giver' (AusE) and 'carer' (BrE).

 

[Dark_Fury]

Here's the ad she came across before applied for the job:

But yes, it means "caregiver", "personal care assistant".
The woman's husband was paralyzed by a stroke.

So you can't be sure whether "His wife's having kind of a rough time with it" means that she needs help with looking after her husband or that she's depressed by her husband's illness? Does the "with it" part not tell you anything?

 

[Raymott]

No, "with it" simply means "coping with his dying". But, I assume that if she's hiring a carer, it's for her husband, not for her. I would also assume that she finds the physical care required burdensome, as well as the emotional effects. Obviously, if this comes from a movie, you should be able to tell what sort of problems she's having "with it".

Sometimes, this is expressed as, "She's having a rough/hard time of it." It means the same. Its non-specific.

 

[Raymott]

'Caretaker' seems to be the AmE equivalent of 'care-giver' (AusE) and 'carer' (BrE).

Ah, so you use 'caretaker' for both buildings and people? We say carer or care-giver.

"The Shining is about Jack Torrance (Jack Nicholson), an aspiring writer and recovering alcoholic, who accepts a position as the off-season caretaker of the isolated historic Overlook Hotel"
Wikipedia. That's how we use 'caretaker'.

 

[Tarheel]

You are going to have a tough time of it if your spouse is dying. Consider that the two of you have been together for decades, and you are going to be alone.

 

[Dark_Fury]

You are going to have a tough time of it if your spouse is dying. Consider that the two of you have been together for decades, and you are going to be alone.

But in this case, I would say it means that I would feel very sad, downcast, and, perhaps, useless; in other words, it would be an emotionally challenging period for me.

Is that what you meant, Tarheel?

 

[Tarheel]

But in this case, I would say it means that I would feel very sad, downcast, and, perhaps, useless; in other words, it would be an emotionally challenging period for me.

Is that what you meant, Tarheel?

That's close enough. Also consider that suicide is a distinct possibility in such situations. (Keep a close eye on a a loved one who has lost a spouse.)

On October 27th it will be five years since my wife died. I think I will never forget that date.