how to call your spouse

[chance22]

In a translation task, I was supposed to find an English equivalent to address someone, but I have no idea what word natives will use in such circunstances:
When someone close to you, say, husband, is known to have an affair with another woman, is it possible to say: You bastard/You jerk/(you devil?), how dare you say you don't have an affair?
In Chinese, we have certain ways to call our husband or love,which will only be used when we're irritated by their behavior but still affection or closeness can be felt. Sometimes, it can even be used in flirting. We do not actually refer to them as bastard or jerk. But I really don't know if there is certain word used in English in this case.
I'm not sure if I have expressed myself clearly. Maybe there is difference in languages, but maybe there is also similarity. I'm looking forward to your help.

 

[keannu]

I'm not a teacher, but I think it's a cultural difference. I know some Chinese, so if you write the expression said by Chinese with some explanation, maybe I can explain it to native speakers.
In Korea, we call such spouses sometimes "You! womanizer" or any swear word you want to say depending on your mood. And I guess native speakers will say various things depending on their mood or how serious the affair is.
As Chinese and Korean share the same Chinese characters, I might be able to understand your expression.

 

[5jj]

In the heat of the moment of discovery, I don't think we apply much thought to the words that come from our mouths. Probably 'b*st*ard' would be one of the more common words that women might use to their errant spouses; some men would settle for 'b*tch' for their partners.

When it happened to me a few years ago, I believe I said, "Oh, damn". I doubt if that's very common.

 

[SoothingDave]

You're asking about disparaging names used in a playful fashion?

I don't think that there is any common practice of doing this.

 

[BobSmith]

After the fact, the only phrase I can think of is "that cheating/lying" man:bastard, woman:bitch. But that's not friendly/flirty in any way. "Womanizer" or "to have a wondering eye" are possible, but those don't presume to include adultery.

 

[Barb_D]

My problem with the question is equating "irritation" with how you would feel if you find out your spouse is cheating on you. I don't think a lot of people will be concerned with choosing words that still have a loving feeling.

 

[magimagicE]

Many English words or phrases that are seemingly abrasive, but when spoken with a smile, will be softened in order to playfully tease your spouse.

You are teasing your husband, so you might want to call him a cad or a regular Don Juan.

 

[5jj]

Many English words or phrases that are seemingly abrasive, but when spoken with a smile, will be softened in order to playfully tease your spouse.

You are teasing your husband, so you might want to call him a cad or a regular Don Juan.

I doubt if many wives have used such expresions in the last fifty years or so.

 

[magimagicE]

If you want to be more abrasive when referring to your husband, then you might call him a philanderer.

 

[5jj]

If you want to be more abrasive when referring to your husband, then you might call him a philanderer.

No. That's not more abrasive, merely dated.

 

[magimagicE]

No. That's not more abrasive, merely dated.

Dated, maybe, but the seed of the idea is there. All you have to do is craft the modern equivalent of it.

He's a regular Hugh Hefner - I think this won't be misunderstood in reference to my example above.

 

[Barb_D]

And again... why the need for a playful smile and loving tone when you have just found out your spouse is cheating on you?

Come on - forgot to put the clothes in the dryer? Irritation. Deleted your favorite show before you had a chance to watch it? Irritation. Said he'd be home early enough to let the dog out but ended up going out for a drink with the boys so the dog left you a present in the hallway? Maybe more than irritation. But "Guess what? I'm sleeping with our dental hygenist?" No, I"m not worried about sounding loving or being playful.

Perhaps all this arises from a misuse of "cheating." Maybe all he did was wink at the bartender.

 

[chance22]

I'm not a teacher, but I think it's a cultural difference. I know some Chinese, so if you write the expression said by Chinese with some explanation, maybe I can explain it to native speakers.
In Korea, we call such spouses sometimes "You! womanizer" or any swear word you want to say depending on your mood. And I guess native speakers will say various things depending on their mood or how serious the affair is.
As Chinese and Korean share the same Chinese characters, I might be able to understand your expression.

In Chinese, we say "you, dead guy"(a word for word translation), because in Chinese, something related to death is used to curse. Women usually use it 1. to express dissatisfaction, but it can also be used 2. when women act like a cute but spoiled child, and call their boyfriends or husbands as "you, bad guy", which of course is not said in an angry manner.
I'm not sure if there are some words in the above two situations in English. Maybe a certain word can be used in both the cases, or maybe two different words, or maybe no such word exactly used like in Chinese, but "you bastard" is just a close one?

 

[chance22]

And again... why the need for a playful smile and loving tone when you have just found out your spouse is cheating on you?

Come on - forgot to put the clothes in the dryer? Irritation. Deleted your favorite show before you had a chance to watch it? Irritation. Said he'd be home early enough to let the dog out but ended up going out for a drink with the boys so the dog left you a present in the hallway? Maybe more than irritation. But "Guess what? I'm sleeping with our dental hygenist?" No, I"m not worried about sounding loving or being playful.

Perhaps all this arises from a misuse of "cheating." Maybe all he did was wink at the bartender.

Then what if it's not a serious one, maybe just flirting with others. And what makes the wife very angry is the fact that her husband lied to her and doesn't want to admit it

 

[5jj]

There are no rules or fixed expressions for what people say when they are angry or irritated.

 

[Amigos4]

"I am pissed... you are a bastard... I want a divorce!" No need for further discussion!

 

[chance22]

Thank you all for the help. In this translation exercise, I'll use "you, bastard" if there is no other better choice . As 5jj suggested, this is a common expression.

 

[emsr2d2]

Am I the only person surprised at the amount of swearing that has gone on through this thread without a single suggestion of asterisk usage?

I am p*ssed. You are a b*stard.

 

[Amigos4]

Am I the only person surprised at the amount of swearing that has gone on through this thread without a single suggestion of asterisk usage?

I am p*ssed. You are a b*stard.

'Pissed' and 'bastard' are common usage in AmE and do not require the *. We colonists still reserve the * for the egregious curse words that can't be uttered on public television or radio! For examples, see George Carlin's infamous seven dirty words: Seven dirty words - Wikipedia, the free encyclopediaSeven dirty words - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

[5jj]

Am I the only person surprised at the amount of swearing that has gone on through this thread without a single suggestion of asterisk usage?

https://www.usingenglish.com/forum/ask-teacher/169621-how-call-your-spouse.html#post875774