[Essay] I am an animal lover (Dogs)

ambitious-girl

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Could someone please check the following essay for any mistakes? I appreciate it.


I am an animal lover, especially dogs which are my most favourite animals. They have been some people’s only companies these days as well as (being) human’s best friends for thousands of years. A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he/it loves himself/itself. This means that they are so loyal and loving that they can make a really wonderful companion. It is also said that a pet dog can feel like a member of a family. People often show their love to their pet dogs in the same way as they do to their children, and the feeling is mutual. What I like the most about this animal is that it/he is always ready to offer its/his unconditional love to its/his owner. You know, even if you’ve been so busy that you haven’t had enough time to give your dog the attention it deserves, it’s still madly waiting for you to come home and welcome you warmly. When you’re feeling down and thinking no one loves you, you always have a canine partner to make you feel better and happier. They never judge and are always happy to see you return, whether you’ve been gone five hours or five minutes. Sometimes these animals may be trained and kept with the aim of helping disabled, lonely, elderly or very ill people or those suffering from blindness, in an attempt to meet such people’s everyday needs, such as opening/closing doors, picking up dropped items, emptying the washing machine, etc. People with dogs are shown to have had less heart problems as well because they get regular exercise from walking their pets. In addition, in terms of mental health, having a dog improves dog owner’s mood and alleviate stress which in turn means lowering blood pressure. However, you have to know how to deal with such animals. What I mean is that, they need constant supervision, attention and caring that includes walking, feeding and exercising them frequently, which means your devoting a great deal of time, effort and energy. I wish I could have one, but we have a strict rule regarding keeping pets, especially dogs where I live.
 
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Tarheel

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Tarheel

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Say:

I am an animal lover, and I especially like dogs.
 

Tarheel

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Try:

For many people a dog is their only companion.
 

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Try:

It is often said that a pet dog can seem like a member of the family.
 

Tarheel

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Perhaps:

A dog is a source of unconditional love.

I can't talk about feelings that animals have.
 

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Your dog is always glad to see you.

(I know I said I can't talk about an animal's emotions, but I can't think of a better way to put it.)
 

Tarheel

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Say:

People with dogs have fewer heart problems because they get regular exercise from walking their dogs. And they have less stress.
 

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"...but we have a strict rule regarding keeping pets, especially dogs, where I live."

Note the red comma. This is necessary. Firstly, "especially dogs" is an interpolation, a parenthesis: remove it and the sentence still makes sense without it. You enclose those within commas (or brackets). Secondly, it's not "especially dogs where I live" that is the problem. The problem where you live is pets - "especially dogs". There's a subtle difference.
 

ambitious-girl

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Could someone please check the following essay for any mistakes AND OFFER SUGGESTIONS/CORRECTIONS?
Any questions?
What did you mean Tarheel?
Are you trying to make fun of learners here?
Thanks for correction, but am I forcing you to check my essay?
Last night when I was exploring this forum ,I found that you seemed to be enjoying making fun of learners for questions they asked. Now I am sure about it.

Besides, along with appreciating your help, I am sorry to say that I didn’t get any point from your correction. It is not well-organized at all. The way you did proofreading made me really confused. It is not considered as an essay correction too. In addition, I am sure there might be some serious mistakes like what Raymott noticed that you didn’t point.
 
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ambitious-girl

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Say:

People with dogs have fewer heart problems because they get regular exercise from walking their dogs. And they have less stress.
I will lose some marks if I use the conjunction “and” in the same way as you did. Many learners here are preparing for the standard academic IELTS exam.
 
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Tarheel

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What did you mean Tarheel?
Are you trying to make fun of learners here?
Thanks for correction, but am I forcing you to check my essay?
Last night when I was exploring this forum ,I found that you seemed to be enjoying making fun of learners for questions they asked. Now I am sure about it.

Besides, along with appreciating your help, I am sorry to say that I didn’t get any point from your correction. It is not well-organized at all. The way you did proofreading made me really confused. It is not considered as an essay correction too. In addition, I am sure there might be some serious mistakes like what Raymott noticed that you didn’t point.

I am using an Android device with a small screen. I am doing the best I can with what I have.

I hadn't read as far as Raymott had, and I still haven't read that far.

It's too late to change it, but from a brief scan I would say it needs to be at least two paragraphs.

When are you going to submit this to your teacher?

That's all I have time for right now. (Well, maybe one more thing.)
 

Tarheel

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I will lose some marks if I use the conjunction “and” in the same way as you did. Many learners here are preparing for the standard academic IELTS exam.

There is what you learn in your class, and there is real life.
 

Raymott

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I am using an Android device with a small screen. I am doing the best I can with what I have.
I was wondering why you sometimes made these serial one line posts.

For what it's worth, ambitious-girl, I don't perceive Tarheel as trying to make fun of anyone. Naturally, it's easy to misread the tone or intentions of a forum post. But that's only my opinion, of course.
 

emsr2d2

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Tarheel is not in the habit of making fun of anyone. He was simply pointing out that you need to make it clear what you would like us to do. If you just write "Please check my essay for mistakes", I could simply sit at home, read your essay and then think to myself (or post as a response) "Yes, there are some mistakes in that essay". That doesn't help you at all. If you want us to check it and suggest how you can correct it, you need to actually ask us to do that.
 

teechar

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ambitious-girl: I think it's important not to jump to conclusions. I must say that I also wasn't sure what Tarheel meant by "any questions?" but all you had to say was:

What did you mean by "any questions", Tarheel?
 

Tarheel

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I think I said:

"Do you have any questions?"

True, I don't always do that, but it's a common expression which I have heard numerous times. It means that if the person has any questions he/she should feel free to ask them. And, apparently, there were indeed questions.

I am weary of this thread. I fail to understand what I did to give offense.
 

emsr2d2

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As can happen here, "lost in translation" is the culprit.
 

ambitious-girl

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Thanks Raymott. Maybe, you are right.

Thanks Emsr2d2. But, I think if there was something wrong with my question, you and other teachers here could have stated it earlier. You and Teechar always check essays here. I almost always ask that question for checking my essays. So, I don't think there might be any problem with my question.

Thanks Teechar. But, I didn't want to jump in judge or to be impolite to teachers and other members giving up their precious time to help learners here. You are volunteer helpers here and sometimes I don't feel really comfortable to post more essays because you all do it for FREE without our paying for what you have done. This is really KIND of you. Also, I have ALWAYS owned to all teachers and other members who really have helped me to improve my English and helped to be able to achieve my dreams in my life and also who make this language really interesting to me.

Anyway, Teechar, "Any question" is not a phrase that can be irritating. However, the bold and uppercase phrases like " AND OFFER SUGGESTIONS/CORRECTIONS?", along with "any question" can make you feel sad.

This was my question:
Could someone please check the following essay for any mistakes? I appreciate it.

And the following was what Tarheel nicely offered:
"Could someone please check the following essay for any mistakes AND OFFER SUGGESTIONS/CORRECTIONS? any question?"

Now, I don't want to talk about it anymore. Sorry if I take your valuable time for being involved in this thread. Thanks again for all your help. I would appreciate it if someone could check my essay again.
 
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