IELTS Speaking P.2 Topic: a change - dog park

[Maybo]

This is a practice text for the speaking part of the IELTS exam. Please correct it and make it colloquial.

Topic: Describe a change that could improve your local area. (Source)

You should say:

• what the change would be
• how this change could be made
• what problems are causing the need for this change

and explain how this change would improve your local area.

I would like to have a dog park in our neighbourhood because it would be safer for both dogs and people. An accident happened a week ago caused me to think about this change. A week ago, I went to a mall in our neighborhood and in the way, I walked by a park called Tai . While I was passing through the park, suddenly several dogs dashed to me and one of them lunged at me. I was startled and screamed. I was angry that their owner couldn't control them immediately. What if I got bitten? Also, the dog could have been euthanised if the authority considered it dangerous. The park wasn't allowed for pets but many pet owners would walk their dogs there. I usually detour when I see them because some of the dogs are untied and like to smell everything including my legs. I don't like that. Once, even a dog owner asked me to stop walking because he said to me, if I kept walking, his dogs might think I wanted to play with them. Therefore, I think we need a dog park for them so that people and animals can be separate and it reduces conflicts. Also, it's safer for dogs because currently there are roads around the park and if untied dogs rushed to the curbs, they could get hit by cars. In terms of people, we can have a more quiet area because we wouldn't suddenly get barked. Also, we don't need to be worried about running into untied dogs. If we had a dog park, these problems could be reduced. The dog owners might be willing to tie their dogs outside of the park because their dogs might already have a good opportunity to stretch their body in the park. They don't need to stretch outside the park. However, this change requires a vast land and it's hard to find in our neighbourhood so the government need to mark off an area and pay some money to build the park.

 

[tedmc]

This is a practice text for the speaking part of the IELTS exam. Please correct it and make it colloquial.

Topic: Describe a change that could improve your local area. (Source)

You should say:

• what the change would be
• how this change could be made
• what problems are causing the need for this change

and explain how this change would improve your local area.

I would like to have a dog park in our neighbourhood because it would be safer for both dogs and people. An accident that happened a week ago caused me to think about this change idea. A week ago, I went to a mall in our neighborhood and in along the way, I walked by through a park called Tai . While I was passing through the park, suddenly, several dogs dashed to chased me and one of them lunged at me. I was startled and screamed. I was angry that their owner(s) couldn't weren't there to control them immediately. What if I got bitten? Also, the dogs could have been be euthanised if the authority considered it them dangerous. The park wasn't allowed for doesn't allow pets but many pet owners would still walk bring their dogs there. I usually detour when I see them because some of the dogs are untied unleashed and like to smell everything sniff at everything, including my legs. I don't like that. Once, even a dog owner asked me to stop walking because he said to me, if I kept walking, his dogs might think I wanted to play with them (1). Therefore, I think we need a (dedicated) dog park for them so that people and animals can be separate and it reduces thereby reducing conflicts. Also, it's safer for dogs because, currently, there are roads around going through the park and if untied unleashed dogs rushed to the curbs cross the roads, they could get hit by cars (vehicles). In terms of people, we The public can have a more quiet area because we wouldn't suddenly get barked away from the noise of animals. Also, we don't need to be worried about running into untied unleashed dogs. If we had a dog park, these problems could be reduced. The dog owners might be willing to tie their dogs outside of the park because their dogs might already have a good opportunity to stretch their body in the park. They don't need to stretch outside the park (2). Dog owners probably have no qualms about unleashing their dogs when they bring them into a dog park knowing that they would not pose a hazard to people and would be getting into an environment where they are comfortable and free to stretch and roam about. In a way, it's a reward for the dogs for being willing to stay leashed until they get into the park.
However, this change building a dog park requires a vast big piece of land, and it's which is hard to find in our neighbourhood, so the government need to mark off designate an area and pay some money allocate a budget to build the park.

It is not clear what you want to say in 1 & 2.

 

[Maybo]

It is not clear what you want to say in 1 & 2.

1. if the dogs see me moving, they think I am playing with them.
2. I think one of the reason that the dog owners unleash their dogs because they think their dogs are restrictive in a leash. If they were in the dog park, the owner might unleash the dogs so that the dogs would get enough stretches. When they are out of the park, the dog owners might be willing to tie the dogs. Then, it's better for other people.

 

[tedmc]

1. if the dogs see me moving, they think I am playing with them.

I don't understand how the action of people moving or walking per se, without any interaction, would give a dog the impression that they are playing with them.

2. I think one of the reason that the dog owners unleash their dogs because they think their dogs are restrictive restricted in a leash. If they were in the dog park, the owner might unleash the dogs so that the dogs would get enough stretches. When they are out of the park, the dog owners might be willing to tie the dogs. Then, it's better for other people.

I have edited the second part, based on what you have written.

 

[Maybo]

I don't understand how the action of people moving or walking per se, without any interaction, would give a dog the impression that they are playing with them.

I don’t know. That was how the dog owner thought.

 

[Tarheel]

I don’t know. That was WHAT the dog owner thought.

Yes, but what about the dog?

 

[Maybo]

Yes, but what about the dog?

How do I know? I was just trying to report what the owner said.

 

[Tarheel]

OK.

 

[tedmc]

How do I know? I was just trying to report what the owner said.

Does it make sense to you?

 

[Maybo]

Does it make sense to you?

Maybe. Dogs have predators' properties. They like running after balls. They might be trying to run after moving objects like me. I'm not an animal specialist.
The speech is not to dig into whether the owner said made sense. The problem is that what he did just annoyed me so I hope there is a dog park and the dog owners can spend more time at it.

 

[tedmc]

Maybe. Dogs have predators' properties tendencies/traits. They like running after balls moving things like me thinking that they are their prey . They might be trying to run after moving objects like me. I'm not an animal specialist.
The speech is not to dig into whether what the owner said made sense. The problem is that what he did just annoyed me so I hope there is a dog park and for the dog owners can spend more time at it.

If there is a park for dogs, I wonder how the owners would be able to find their dogs when it's time to bring them home. It's not as if dogs are so obedient as to be willing to return to their owners on their own when called. Given half the chance, I'm sure most dogs would prefer to continue roaming freely in the wild.

 

[Maybo]

If there is a park for dogs, I wonder how the owners would be able to find their dogs when it's time to bring them home.

You assume the park is very big but I’m not.

It's not as if dogs are so obedient as to be willing to return to their owners on their own when called.

I don’t know if the dogs are obedient or not, or simply the owners give the dogs too much freedom.

 

[Tarheel]

Maybe. Dogs have predators' properties. They like running after balls. They might be trying to run after moving objects like me. I'm not an animal specialist.
The POINT OF THE speech is not to dig into whether WHAT the owner said made sense. The problem is that what he did just annoyed me so I hope there is a dog park and the dog owners can spend more time THERE.

I disagree with Ted. Dogs that grow up as pets aren't looking to run off so they can live wild and free.

 

[tedmc]

You assume the park is very big but I’m not.

I don’t know if the dogs are obedient or not, or simply the owners give the dogs too much freedom.

You said earlier that a dog park requires a big piece of land.

The other thing is, dogs are known to be promiscuous. Unless they are spayed or neutered, I can't imagine how fast they would multiply if you allow them to mingle freely at one place.

 

[Maybo]

You said earlier that a dog park requires a big piece of land.

Yes. But not so big that the owners can’t find their dogs. Dog parks can have fences.

The other thing is, dogs are known to be promiscuous. Unless they are spayed or neutered, I can't imagine how fast they would multiply if you allow them to mingle freely at one place.

If both owners allow that happens, what does it have to do with the park? If dog owners don’t want that happen, they will spay their dogs or watch their dogs carefully to prevent it happening. Mostly importantly, my point of having a dog park is to separate dogs and people, so that annoyances to humans can be reduced. This speech is for a language test and not an interview to hire a city planner who can consider every aspect perfectly within one minute preparation time.

 

[Tarheel]

Yes. But not so big that the owners can’t find their dogs. Dog parks can have fences.

If both owners allow that TO HAPPEN, what does it have to do with the park? If dog owners don’t want that TO happen, they will spay their dogs or watch their dogs carefully to prevent it FROM happening. MOST importantly, my point of having a dog park is to separate dogs and people, so that annoyances to humans can be reduced. This speech is for a language test and not an interview to hire a city planner who can consider every aspect perfectly within one minute preparation time.

 

[tedmc]

What I have brought up is just to provoke discussions rather than about the exam. Of course I am aware of the limitations of how deep you can go into a subject in an exam setting. Anyway, I don't think the idea is feasible in the crowdest city of Hong Kong.

 

[emsr2d2]

I don't think the idea is feasible in the crowdest city of Hong Kong.

@tedmc That word doesn't exist.

 

[tedmc]

@tedmc That word doesn't exist.

Okay, it's "the most crowded city".

 

[emsr2d2]

I would like to have a dog park in our neighbourhood because it would be safer for both dogs and people.

That's a good sentence. The only change I would probably make would be to say "I would like there to be a dog park ..." or "I wish there was a dog park ...".

An accident incident happened a week ago caused me to think about this change.

A week ago, I went on the way to a mall in our neighborhood and in the way, I walked by a park called Tai.

Note that it's "on the way", not "in the way".

While I was passing walking through the park, suddenly several dogs suddenly dashed towards me and one of them lunged directly at me.

I was startled and screamed.

Good.

I was angry that their owner couldn't wasn't able to control them. immediately.

What if I had got bitten?

Or "What if I had been bitten?"

Also, the dog could have been euthanised if the authority authorities had considered it dangerous.

Pets aren't allowed in the park wasn't allowed for pets but many pet owners would walk their dogs there.

I usually make a detour when I see them because some of the dogs are untied aren't on a lead and like to smell sniff everything, including my legs.

AmE - leash
BrE - lead

I don't like that. Once, even a dog owner [even] asked me to stop walking because he said to me, that if I kept walking, his dogs might think I wanted to play with them.

Therefore, I think we need a dog park for them so that people and animals can be kept separate; and it reduces this would reduce the change of conflicts such incidents.

Save "conflict" (noun) for when you're talking about wars or arguments between people.

Also, it's it would be safer for dogs because currently there are roads around the park nearby and if untied dogs that aren't on a lead rushed to the curbs ran into the road/ran off the pavement, they could get hit by cars.

AmE - curb
BrE - pavement (the kerb (BrE spelling) is just the very edge where the pavement meets the road.

In terms of people, we can have a more quiet It would also make the area quieter because we wouldn't suddenly get barked there wouldn't be so much barking.

Also, We don't wouldn't need to be worried about running into coming across untied dogs that aren't on a lead.

If we had a dog park, these problems could be reduced avoided.

The dog owners might be willing to tie their dogs up outside of the park because their dogs might already have a good opportunity to stretch their body exercise in the park.

I don't understand the logic of this. How can the dogs exercise in the park if they're tied up outside the park?

They don't need to stretch outside the park.

I don't understand this at all. Dogs need exercise!

However, this change requires would require a vast large area of land and it's that's hard to find in our neighbourhood.

so The government would need to mark fence off an the area and pay some money to build the park.

You need to work on your use of modals. The whole piece is a hypothetical scenario.