Burnice
Member
- Joined
- Oct 16, 2024
- Member Type
- Student or Learner
- Native Language
- Vietnamese
- Home Country
- Vietnam
- Current Location
- Vietnam
Could someone evaluate and point out the flaws in my writing, then show me how to improve? Thank you very much.
Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe th children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Your essay shoud be at least 250 words.
__________
In society, there exists a fervent debate about whether to foster a competitive spirit among children. While some people are convinced that this trains kids to become more likely to succeed in the later stages of their lives, others argue that a sense of harmony would be more advisable. In this essay, I will scrutinize both views and give my opinion.
On the one hand, people assume that a competitive attitude is crucial to children's growth. From their perspective, an environment without competition cannot press children to work harder, resulting in their constant lack of motivation. Therefore, a demanding setting, which doesn’t let children easily satisfy with their current capacity, strictly and constantly presses children to strive for the greater. For example, in athletics competitions, athletes feel a strong urge to outshine other contestants for the glory of the winner and a sense of accomplishment.
On the contrary, some people believe that developing children’s collaborative skills is the ideal option. Getting on well with others and being able to work with different kinds of people create a comfortable setting for children to learn from their peers, and encourage them to step up their efforts to be better together, or to not be a burden. For instance, children in a sports team can combine each individual’s forte and support one another’s weaknesses. Being in a team also helps practice soft skills and nurture a sense of empathy.
Ultimately, I think both competition and cooperation are recommendable for children's education. Striking the balance between them promises a bright future for the young generation.
Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe th children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Your essay shoud be at least 250 words.
__________
In society, there exists a fervent debate about whether to foster a competitive spirit among children. While some people are convinced that this trains kids to become more likely to succeed in the later stages of their lives, others argue that a sense of harmony would be more advisable. In this essay, I will scrutinize both views and give my opinion.
On the one hand, people assume that a competitive attitude is crucial to children's growth. From their perspective, an environment without competition cannot press children to work harder, resulting in their constant lack of motivation. Therefore, a demanding setting, which doesn’t let children easily satisfy with their current capacity, strictly and constantly presses children to strive for the greater. For example, in athletics competitions, athletes feel a strong urge to outshine other contestants for the glory of the winner and a sense of accomplishment.
On the contrary, some people believe that developing children’s collaborative skills is the ideal option. Getting on well with others and being able to work with different kinds of people create a comfortable setting for children to learn from their peers, and encourage them to step up their efforts to be better together, or to not be a burden. For instance, children in a sports team can combine each individual’s forte and support one another’s weaknesses. Being in a team also helps practice soft skills and nurture a sense of empathy.
Ultimately, I think both competition and cooperation are recommendable for children's education. Striking the balance between them promises a bright future for the young generation.
