In 2019, over 70 00 Americans died from drug overdose

bartek1988

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Hello,
I'm wondering if the parts in bold are correct. I provided my suggestions below and would be grateful for any help.

A) In 2019, over 70 00 Americans died from drug overdose. In 2020, that number grew to a shocking 93 000 deaths.
I would say 'to a shocking number of 93 000 deaths'

B) This terrifying condition can become the undoing of anyone, especially the ones who do not take it seriously.
I would use 'those'.

C) Before they realise their predicament, they will be stuck in a pattern that they will make for themselves.
I would use the future perfect 'will have made'.

Thanks for your feedback!
 

jutfrank

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Please provide the source(s) of all sentences you enquire about. Thank you.
 

bartek1988

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Unfortunately, I have no sources. A friend asked me to proofread his text, and I have doubts about these sentences.
 

jutfrank

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A) The original is fine. Better than your suggestion.

B) The original is not right. Your correction is a good one.

C) The original is not right. I suggest have made but will have made is okay too. I don't like stuck in a pattern.
 
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bartek1988

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Thanks a lot. I need one clarification. In sentence A, why do you need an article if a plural noun follows?
 

Tdol

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A shocking 93,000 deaths, as opposed to a slightly less shocking 91,000 deaths.
 

emsr2d2

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I'm wondering if the parts in bold are correct. I have provided my suggestions below and would be grateful for any help.

A) In 2019, over 70,000 Americans died from drug overdose. In 2020, that number grew to a shocking 93,000 deaths.
I would say 'to a shocking number of 93,000 deaths.'

B) This terrifying condition can become the undoing of anyone, especially the ones who do not take it seriously.
I would use 'those'.

C) Before they realise their predicament, they will be stuck in a pattern that they will make for themselves.
I would use the future perfect 'will have made'.

Thanks for your feedback!
Note my corrections above. Remember to put a comma in the appropriate place in large numbers. Once you get over 999, you need a comma after the part of the number that represents the thousands.

A) Your revision is unnecessary and unnatural.
B) I would use "those" too.
C) I would use "will have made" too.
 
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