Is there a reason why people do this? It sounds diminishing

[Whatthet4K]

Why do people use quotation marks when they talk about their kids sometimes. For example, my seven-year-old daughter loves to arm wrestle with me. A lot of grown-ups would still say that she is “strong “. Why wouldn’t I just say that my kiddo is strong?

Also, why do people put the words for a kid after their sentences. For example, my four-year-old child likes to have races with me down the hall. A lot of adults would say that my toddler runs fast, for a kid. Why wouldn’t I just say that my four-year-old daughter is fast?

Also why do grown-ups respond with OK. Sure. Kid. Isn’t it dismissive? An example would be when my toddler stands next to me and says that they are really tall, why would I respond with OK. Sure. Kid.?

 

[5jj]

Why do people use quotation marks when they talk about their kids sometimes. For example, my seven-year-old daughter loves to arm wrestle with me. A lot of grown-ups would still say that she is “strongno space“.

I don't think they do. Have you any evidence for this claim?

Also, why do people put the words "for a kid" after their sentences?

It's simply a way of indicating that the speaker is not using the descriptive word in absolute terms.

 

[Whatthet4K]

I don't think they do. have you any evidence for this claim?

It's simply a way of indicating that the speaker is not using the descriptive word in absolute terms.

Why is it then that nobody says I am fast, for an adult? There’s no need to throw in, for a kid in there.

 

[Tarheel]

We don't generally expect kids to be able to do the same things adults do. Adults are generally bigger and stronger than children.

 

[Whatthet4K]

We don't generally expect kids to be able to do the same things adults do. Adults are generally bigger and stronger than children.

I’m sorry but I’m still not understanding why are their quotes around “strong“ when it comes to arm wrestling with my seven-year-old daughter? And why is my toddler fast, for a kid? Wouldn’t I just say that my seven-year-old is strong and my toddler is fast? Why are you mentioning adults here when I’m only talking about kids?

 

[probus]

Hello @Whatthet4K and welcome to the forum. Given that you are a native English speaker from the United States, why does your profile describe you as a student or learner? Also your IP address indicates that you are not currently in Latvia. After you have cleared up these discrepancirs we may be able to answer your queries.

 

[Whatthet4K]

I’m so sorry. Is there a way to change that? I’m in the US. And currently a student that’s why I said that.

 

[5jj]

I have changed your location for you, @Whatthet4K.

 

[Skrej]

Saying they're strong for a kid, or fast for a toddler is just a way of qualifying the remark. There might be various reasons to add such remarks, but sometimes it's done for humor. Other reasons might be as a slight or insult. It could also just be meant as a frame of reference. Context would probably make it clearer.

For example, I once told a colleague who was a bit late submitting a document to me that he typed pretty fast - for an octogenarian. He was in his late 30's at the time.

It was intended as a subtle poke at the tardiness, but in good humor. I said it with grin and he laughed before flipping me the bird. It as all in good humor only because we're pretty good friends outside work.

If we hadn't been on such good terms, then my comment would have come across as a blatant insult. Of course, if we weren't good friends, I likely wouldn't have made such a comment unless I was deliberately trying to insult and provoke him.

 

[Whatthet4K]

Saying they're strong for a kid, or fast for a toddler is just a way of qualifying the remark. There might be various reasons to add such remarks, but sometimes it's done for humor. Other reasons might be as a slight or insult. It could also just be meant as a frame of reference. Context would probably make it clearer.

For example, I once told a colleague who was a bit late submitting a document to me that he typed pretty fast - for an octogenarian. He was in his late 30's at the time.

It was intended as a subtle poke at the tardiness, but in good humor. I said it with grin and he laughed before flipping me the bird. It as all in good humor only because we're pretty good friends outside work.

If we hadn't been on such good terms, then my comment would have come across as a blatant insult. Of course, if we weren't good friends, I likely wouldn't have made such a comment unless I was deliberately trying to insult and provoke him.

What context would they need to be? Isn’t my seven-year-old strong? Wouldn’t my toddler be fast? That doesn’t need clarification right? And I’m not humoring my children when I’m saying it also.

 

[Skrej]

I have no idea of your children's relative strength or speed. Don't you though? I thought you meant other people were adding the qualifying remarks, but now is sounds like you're asking if you need to.

If you think your toddler's fast, then call them fast. Ditto for the seven year old's strength. I honestly don't think there's a right or wrong way to state this. Are they really analyzing your words as much as you are? Such terms are kind of subjective anyway.

Realistically, no young child is going to be as fast or as strong as a fully grown adult. Neither is a seven year old going to be as strong as a teenager twice their age. So when you call them fast or strong, it's relative to other kids that are approximately their age. Whether or not you choose to mention the relativity is up to you, but I don't think it really makes much difference in terms of giving them praise and reinforcement, which is ultimately what matters.

If I thought my kid needed a ego boost, I might just praise his strength, speed, intelligence, or whatever. If I felt like they're boasting or needed a bit of humility, then I might add the 'for your age' comment. (If they even figured out what that meant).

This makes me think of the ending scene of Searching for Bobby Fischer, where seven year old Morgan tells Josh (approximately the same age) that he's a much stronger player than he was at his age. Funny of course because although they're young boys, they're dealing with genius level chess skills far beyond most adults many times their age.

 

[Whatthet4K]

I have no idea of your children's relative strength or speed. Don't you though? I thought you meant other people were adding the qualifying remarks, but now is sounds like you're asking if you need to.

If you think your toddler's fast, then call them fast. Ditto for the seven year old's strength. I honestly don't think there's a right or wrong way to state this. Are they really analyzing your words as much as you are? Such terms are kind of subjective anyway.

Realistically, no young child is going to be as fast or as strong as a fully grown adult. Neither is a seven year old going to be as strong as a teenager twice their age. So when you call them fast or strong, it's relative to other kids that are approximately their age. Whether or not you choose to mention the relativity is up to you, but I don't think it really makes much difference in terms of giving them praise and reinforcement, which is ultimately what matters.

If I thought my kid needed a ego boost, I might just praise his strength, speed, intelligence, or whatever. If I felt like they're boasting or needed a bit of humility, then I might add the 'for your age' comment. (If they even figured out what that meant).

This makes me think of the ending scene of Searching for Bobby Fischer, where seven year old Morgan tells Josh (approximately the same age) that he's a much stronger player than he was at his age. Funny of course because although they're young boys, they're dealing with genius level chess skills far beyond most adults many times their age.

I always thought putting a word in quotation marks such as “strong” meant the exact opposite. Like my seven-year-old wasn’t strong and I don’t know, just saying, for a kid, to me it sounds diminishing just the way it said. Plus nobody says you are really strong, for a adult. What would you say about, OK, sure, kid?

 

[Tarheel]

Why are you mentioning adults here when I’m only talking about kids?

You are not only talking about kids. You are talking about what people say about them.

 

[probus]

This may help:

Scare quotes - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

 

[Tarheel]

That should end this thread.

 

[dedicatedenglish]

I always thought putting a word in quotation marks such as “strong” meant the exact opposite. Like my seven-year-old wasn’t strong and I don’t know, just saying, for a kid, to me it sounds diminishing just the way it said. Plus nobody says you are really strong, for a adult. What would you say about, OK, sure, kid?

Not a teacher.
I think it's dismissive to say Ok, sure, kid. What exactly do you expect? That adults should never be dismissive to kids? Or make fun of them at their expense?

Adults often do those things to each other too. We don't live in an ideal world.