It happened for me

[Alexey86]

Recently, I was watching an interview and heard "It happened for me." I'd never heard anyone use "happen for" before. I started googling and, to my surprise, found many examples of this use:

1) ... Working harder won't make you feel more loved. It never happened for me. It was the opposite. …
(The Guardian – Lifestyle)

2) ... would not receive a suspension from the N.B.A., which is investigating what occurred. "Nothing happened for me to be suspended," he said. "I went and wanted to talk to K. G. …
(The New York Times – Sports)

3) ... the ball, he started to hand it over when I saw understanding bloom in his face. That never happened for me: understanding blooming in my face. Not the way I wanted it to. …
(The New Yorker)

4) ... His role in the immigration debate has indeed hurt him. "What's happened for me is my negatives have gone up about ten points," he told me. "My approval rating has come down about eight or nine points.
(The New Yorker)

Would you please explain to me why "for" was used? What's the difference between "It happened for me" and "It happened to me"?

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

Interesting question!

The usage is somewhat unusual but correct. To understand why, think of these:

- He can't start the lawn mower, but it works for me.
- The circus monkey won't do its tricks for other people, but it performs for its owner.
- Warm milk at bedtime doesn't make her sleepy, but when I drink it, it happens for me.

Does it make sense now?

 

[Alexey86]

- He can't start the lawn mower, but it works for me.
- The circus monkey won't do its tricks for other people, but it performs for its owner.
- Warm milk at bedtime doesn't make her sleepy, but when I drink it, it happens for me.

Does it make sense now?

I still can't quite grasp the difference. Is "for" used to highlight the contrast between two parties with respect to their uniqueness, benefit or advantage? Would "to" be incorrect in your last example?

I've found this: “I designed a kitchen with Julia Child for an exhibit at the Smithsonian,” Ms. Leibrock says. “I’ve been teaching at Harvard for 18 years. This doesn’t happen to an interior designer from Pocatello, Idaho, but it happened to me, because I’ve maintained a very tight sense of mission.
(The New York Times)

There are two parties, people like Ms. Leibrock (= unknown provincial designers) and Ms. Leibrock, contrasting in terms of their professional success. Could "for" be used here?

 

[GoesStation]

No.

 

[Alexey86]

No.

The blue part can be reworded as "This doesn't happen to unknown provincial designers, but it happened to me." I can't get why it differs from "Warm milk at bedtime doesn't make her sleepy, but when I drink it, it happens for me" in preposition use. They both highlight contrast.

 

[emsr2d2]

The blue part can be reworded as "This doesn't happen to unknown provincial designers, but it happened to me." I can't get why it differs from "Warm milk at bedtime doesn't make her sleepy, but when I drink it, it [STRIKE]happens[/STRIKE] works for me" in preposition use. They both highlight contrast.

See above. In that sentence, "happen" doesn't work.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

See above. In that sentence, "happen" doesn't work.

As I said, it's a lot less common, but happens for does get used that way sometimes — as it does in the examples in post #1.

I don't love it, either. But there it is.

 

[Tdol]

It worked in my case

 

[Alexey86]

It worked in my case

OK, I'll try to run a substitution test on my examples:

1) "Working harder won't make you feel more loved. It never worked for me. It was the opposite." It makes sense to me though sounds a bit clumsy because of "working harder...worked for me."

2) "Nothing worked for me to be suspended." It makes no sense to me. But this example is irrelevant as such due to the "for me to be" part, which I didn't notice at first. "[Nothing happened] [for me to be suspended]" = There was no reason for my suspension.

3) I'll give you broader context: "The other day, some kids knocked a ball through our window, one of them asked for it back, I said, Sure, if you give me the bat. He did, then asked for the bat, I said, If you give me the ball, he started to hand it over when I saw understanding bloom in his face. That never worked for me: understanding blooming in my face. Not the way I wanted it to. So I’ll die and someone will have to deal with what’s left, the body, the shoes, the socks." It doesn't make sense to me.

4) "What's worked for me is my negatives have gone up about ten points," he told me. "My approval rating has come down about eight or nine points." It doesn't make sense to me either.

Would anyone explain to me "happened for me" in examples (3) and (4), please? Why not "to me"?

 

[jutfrank]

This is already quite complicated so I'll address the original question.

happen to someone

This construction has a sense that the 'someone' is a passive recipient of a certain experience/event. If something happens to you, you have had no say in it.

This is not the case when the preposition is for (or any any other preposition, for that matter).

 

[Alexey86]

OK, can I forget about "happen for" and use either "happen to" (for example in (3) and (4)) or "work for" depending on context?

 

[GoesStation]

OK, can I forget about "happen for" and use either "happen to" (for example in (3) and (4)) or "work for" depending on context?

Yes.

 

[jutfrank]

What do you mean "depending on context"? Aren't we discussing this very specific context?

And no, you can never use to and for interchangeably.

 

[Alexey86]

What do you mean "depending on context"? Aren't we discussing this very specific context?

I mean using "work for" in contexts like (1) and "happen to" in cases like (3) and (4).

And no, you can never use to and for interchangeably.

I didn't mean that at all.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

. . .
I didn't mean that at all.

Yes, it's clear that you know they have two different meanings (which is why they're two different words). You're just wondering about that odd phrase you noticed: happen for.

It looks like you've gotten enough answers to clear things up.