My residency program cover letter -- thoughts?

[firaskjumai]

Hi folks!
Could I please get some help proofreading my cover letter for a pharmacy residency program? Any errors? Any word replacement suggestions?


"Royal Victoria Regional Health Centre is of a particular interest to me due to the following:

RVH offers a specialized service in the field of Cardiology and Stroke. I look forward to specializing in Cardiology and getting the board. The 6-week long Cardiology rotation perfectly align with my career goals when compared to other programs whose rotation is 4-5 weeks long. The opportunity to have my residency program slightly tailored to meet my learning goals through the RVH’S offering of the opportunity to pick up three elective rotations. Since this program has just been launched, and the potential opportunity of being the first resident into the program to be trained in this facility, gives me a good sense that the hospital and my team will definitely be very welcoming and much support and help will be offered to yield a great resident on the way throughout the program. Furthermore, the salary and living stipends offered by the program will help me to cover my financial needs which in return will enable me to get the most of this program and to put my 100% into the program without worrying about the financial aspect. Finally, Dr. Kevin’s responses to my inquires were quite in-depth and he made effort in his kind responses I truly appreciate when admins address my concerns in detail. He was very welcoming. I believe my team will be very welcoming as well and that I will find the hospital environment to be healthy, rewarding and a good choice."

Thanks.

 

[Tarheel]

I wouldn't use "potential opportunity" there (or anywhere else).

 

[teechar]

Hi there,
1- Which areas/points were you asked to cover?
2- What is the submission deadline?
Also, please correct the info you provided on your profile.

 

[firaskjumai]

Hi there,
1- Which areas/points were you asked to cover?
2- What is the submission deadline?
Also, please correct the info you provided on your profile.

Hi,

1- Just the reasons for me choosing this particular program
2- Today.

Done.

 

[Tarheel]

Perhaps:

I look forward to specializing in cardiology and becoming board certified.

 

[teechar]

The Royal Victoria Regional Health Centre is of a particular interest to me due to the following:

RVH offers a specialized service in the fields of Cardiology and Stroke. I look forward to specializing in Cardiology and getting the board certification. The 6-week long Cardiology rotation perfectly aligns with my career goals when compared to other programs whose rotation is 4-5 weeks long. Moreover, it offers me the opportunity to have my residency program slightly tailored to meet my learning goals through the RVH’S offering of the opportunity to pick up three elective rotations.

Since this program has just been launched, and the potential opportunity of being the first resident into the program to be trained in this facility, gives me a good sense that the hospital and my team will definitely be very welcoming and much support and help will be offered to yield a great resident on the way throughout the program.

That part is badly written. Break up the sentences, and phrase them clearly (in a direct manner).

Furthermore, the salary and living stipends offered by the program will help me to cover my financial needs costs, which in return will enable me to get the most out of this program and to put my 100% into the program it without worrying about the financial aspect.

Finally, Dr. Kevin’s

Is that his surname? If not, what is his surname?

responses to my inquires were quite in-depth and he made effort in his kind responses I truly appreciate when admins address my concerns in detail. He was very welcoming and encouraging. I believe

my team

What team?

will be very welcoming as well and that I will find the hospital environment to be healthy, rewarding and a good choice."

 

[tedmc]

I think "cardiology" and "stroke" should not be capitalized, unless you are talking about "Cardiology Department".