Obscure jokes from a local paper

[meobeo]

Well, they may be downright funny for you but I'm finding it hard to understand some of the jokes I've just read from a newspaper, the first one being:

What did the chicken say to the duck by the side of the road? Don't cross the road, mate, or you'll never hear the end of it.

And the second:

How do you get down off an elephant? You don't, you get down off a goose.

I know that it's not easy explaining jokes and some jokes are better off left unexplained but if anyone can shed some lights on how these two jokes are funny, you're more than welcome to do so. Thanks so much!

 

[BobK]

1 This is a reference to an old, unfunny joke: 'Why did the chicken cross the Road?'/[After failed guesses at the answer to what the victim assumes is a riddle]'To get to the other side.'

2 Simple pun on the word 'down'

;-)

b

 

[meobeo]

Thanks BobK, got it! And here's another piece of a supposedly funny overheard conversation:

Girl: I hate it when my shampoo isn't on special.
Guy: Yeah. When it isn't on special I just hate my life.

I guess that the hilarity has got something to do with the "it" in the first sentence as it can be understood 2 ways but I still can't spell out what's funny.

 

[Raymott]

Thanks BobK, got it! And here's another piece of a supposedly funny overheard conversation:

Girl: I hate it when my shampoo isn't on special.
Guy: Yeah. When it isn't on special I just hate my life.

I guess that the hilarity has got something to do with the "it" in the first sentence as it can be understood 2 ways but I still can't spell out what's funny.

I think this is just a case of the guy mocking the girl for exaggerating (and for being shallow) by saying something even more outrageous, facetiously.
This isn't a joke, as such. It might work in a sitcom though.

 

[meobeo]

This isn't a joke, as such. It might work in a sitcom though.

You're right. This is a real conversation overheard and put on a newspaper that I read.