Please let me know if this is correct

[nana75]

How can I improve the below sentences?


Besides my passion for teaching, one of my strengths that I have to offer is my enthusiasm when it comes to the incorporation of technology into my lessons.

Thanks for your feedback!

 

[emsr2d2]

How can I improve the below sentences?


Besides my passion for teaching, one of my strengths that I have to offer is my enthusiasm when it comes to the incorporation of technology into my lessons.

Thanks for your feedback!

Either "one of the strengths I have to offer" or simply "one of my strengths is", but "my strengths" followed by "I have to offer" smacks of redundancy. I would also say "my enthusiasm for using technology in my lessons".

 

[billmcd]

Another option: Included in my passion for teaching, is the enthusiasm I have for the application of technology in my lessons.

 

[nana75]

For both of you.......Thanks a lot for your advice!