[Essay] rule of law

contiluo

Member
Joined
Apr 12, 2010
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
Chinese
Home Country
Taiwan
Current Location
Taiwan
Please help me make the paragraph below sound natural. Thanks.

I aspire to be a successful lawyer in the future. I am an organized and analytical person whose strengths are in analyzing problems and advising others. I choose law because I want a job where I will contribute to upholding and enhancing the rule of law by striving for justice. Furthermore, being a lawyer will give me the opportunity to use the law to make someone’s life better. It is rewarding to pursue my goal with passion.
 

teechar

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Feb 18, 2015
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
English
Home Country
Iraq
Current Location
Iraq
I aspire to be a successful lawyer in the future. I am an organized and [STRIKE]analytical[/STRIKE] hardworking person whose strengths are [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE] analyzing problems and providing useful and accurate advice. [STRIKE]advising others.[/STRIKE] I chose law because I want [STRIKE]a job where I will[/STRIKE] to be able to contribute to upholding and [STRIKE]enhancing[/STRIKE] promoting the rule of law by striving for justice. Furthermore, being a lawyer will give me the opportunity to use the law to make someone’s life better. It is rewarding to pursue my goal with passion.
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