seeking permission to go home

[kerala]

as i have finished my exam .i need to go to home .so please permit me to go home on 6-6-2013.i assure that i will return on 10-6-2013
thanking you
yours obediently



is this in correct format ? please correct this letter

 

[Love Teaching]

NOT A NATIVE TEACHER

Welcome to the forums.
The biggest problem with your post is you haven't used capital letters. Please keep it in mind to start each new sentence with a capital letter. The pronoun "I" is always used in its capital form wherever it is, i.e at the beginning, in the middle or at the end. So first see the amendments below.

As I have finished my exam, I need to go to home. So please permit me to go home on 6-6-2013. I will assure you that I will return on 10-6-2013.
Thank you.
Yours obediently



Is this in correct format? Please correct this letter.

It's OK, just your request is imperative. I'd rather use this one instead. "Would / Could you please permit me ...?"
And "Yours obediently" is, I think, acceptable and common in Indian, but kind of old-fashioned in English.