ambitious-girl
Senior Member
- Joined
- Apr 29, 2017
- Member Type
- Student or Learner
- Native Language
- Persian
- Home Country
- Iran
- Current Location
- Iran
Shanghai-Essay
Could someone please check this essay for mistakes?
I would like to talk about Shanghai, with/which has a population of around 23.5 million, that is currently the fifth of the world’s megacities. Its location on the mouth of the Yangtze River Delta in eastern China makes it one of the busiest and (the) most important ports in the world. The city of Shanghai is so vibrant, fascinating and colorful that as visitors, as soon as you arrive in, you will be hit by an explosion of sounds, sights and smells. Rents are so high and apartments are too tiny, so most residents live their lives on the street and prefer to hang out outside more often. In fact, the street is a place where to read and relax as well as eat and play, and it is not unusual to see people strolling around in their nightgowns or pajamas. The street serves as an extension of the workplace as well. For example, hair stylists sit their customers on chairs which are outside their salons to cut their hair, and the city is full of food stalls on every street corner piled high with delicious steamed buns filled with meat, vegetables and mushrooms. Food and friendship are said to go hand in hand in here. Along with food stalls, there are a lot of sidewalk cafes in which people often meet, socialize and discuss serious matters with one another. The city of Shanghai offers a fusion of West and East and old and new. It means that visitors who are staying at some of the brand new five-star hotels can explore the ancient Buddhist temples when they go sightseeing. As far as crime is concerned, Shanghai is a relatively safe city to live in. You rarely hear of crimes which are being committed, although pickpockets are known to operate in crowded areas and tourists are sometimes the target for scams. The most common of these consist of/include unofficial taxi drivers overcharging passengers for the ride to their hotels from the airport. However, in general, the Chinese/Chinese are very friendly to foreigners and they treat travelers with a lot of respect. Nonnative residents are said to usually become good friends with their Chinese neighbours, once they have gotten used to each other. I have to say that what I don’t like about this megacity is that the roads are often choked with traffic. The traffic/It is so terrible that during rush hour, it takes 2 hours or more to drive a 30-minute route. In addition, drivers don’t like to follow the rules of the road and regularly ignore the speed limits and traffic lights. As a result, this makes crossing the road or street really/extremely hazardous for pedestrians, whose safety are not guaranteed even when the green light is showing. I wish the Chinese drivers wouldn't break driving rules.
Can I use these three sentences as alternatives to underlined parts?
*As visitors, on your arrival, you will …
*Its location makes it one of the busiest ports in the world.
*That is currently the world’s fifth megacity.
Could someone please check this essay for mistakes?
I would like to talk about Shanghai, with/which has a population of around 23.5 million, that is currently the fifth of the world’s megacities. Its location on the mouth of the Yangtze River Delta in eastern China makes it one of the busiest and (the) most important ports in the world. The city of Shanghai is so vibrant, fascinating and colorful that as visitors, as soon as you arrive in, you will be hit by an explosion of sounds, sights and smells. Rents are so high and apartments are too tiny, so most residents live their lives on the street and prefer to hang out outside more often. In fact, the street is a place where to read and relax as well as eat and play, and it is not unusual to see people strolling around in their nightgowns or pajamas. The street serves as an extension of the workplace as well. For example, hair stylists sit their customers on chairs which are outside their salons to cut their hair, and the city is full of food stalls on every street corner piled high with delicious steamed buns filled with meat, vegetables and mushrooms. Food and friendship are said to go hand in hand in here. Along with food stalls, there are a lot of sidewalk cafes in which people often meet, socialize and discuss serious matters with one another. The city of Shanghai offers a fusion of West and East and old and new. It means that visitors who are staying at some of the brand new five-star hotels can explore the ancient Buddhist temples when they go sightseeing. As far as crime is concerned, Shanghai is a relatively safe city to live in. You rarely hear of crimes which are being committed, although pickpockets are known to operate in crowded areas and tourists are sometimes the target for scams. The most common of these consist of/include unofficial taxi drivers overcharging passengers for the ride to their hotels from the airport. However, in general, the Chinese/Chinese are very friendly to foreigners and they treat travelers with a lot of respect. Nonnative residents are said to usually become good friends with their Chinese neighbours, once they have gotten used to each other. I have to say that what I don’t like about this megacity is that the roads are often choked with traffic. The traffic/It is so terrible that during rush hour, it takes 2 hours or more to drive a 30-minute route. In addition, drivers don’t like to follow the rules of the road and regularly ignore the speed limits and traffic lights. As a result, this makes crossing the road or street really/extremely hazardous for pedestrians, whose safety are not guaranteed even when the green light is showing. I wish the Chinese drivers wouldn't break driving rules.
Can I use these three sentences as alternatives to underlined parts?
*As visitors, on your arrival, you will …
*Its location makes it one of the busiest ports in the world.
*That is currently the world’s fifth megacity.
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