Since chronic stress causes the adrenal glands, which produce hormones related to hai

[middleage S]

Since chronic stress causes the adrenal glands, which produce hormones related to hair growth, to continually generate high levels of cortisol, they produce fewer hormones that promote hair growth, leading to hair loss.


I think this sentence is grammatically correct. Am I right?

 

[emsr2d2]

It's correct but that's a lot of commas for one sentence. I'd be inclined to put "which produce hormones related to hair growth" in brackets instead.

 

[middleage S]

Since chronic stress causes the adrenal glands(which produce hormones related to hair growth) to continually generate high levels of cortisol, they produce fewer hormones that promote hair growth, leading to hair loss.

Is it correct? Since it is the first time for me to use brackets, I'm not used to it.

 

[emsr2d2]

I think that looks better. Just one correction - you need to put a space after "glands" before the opening bracket.

 

[jutfrank]

I don't like the brackets. If this is an academic paper, I'd suggest not using them. Dashes would be much better.

What is it exactly that you're writing?

 

[middleage S]

This is an academic essay. Then it is better to write like this?

Since chronic stress causes the adrenal glands [FONT=나눔고딕]—[/FONT]which produce hormones related to hair growth[FONT=나눔고딕]—[/FONT] to continually generate high levels of cortisol, they produce fewer hormones that promote hair growth, leading to hair loss.

 

[jutfrank]

Yes, much better. Don't use brackets in this kind of text.

 

[emsr2d2]

I'll refrain from commenting on your future posts if they're for an academic paper (practice or otherwise) because that's not my area of expertise. It will be helpful if you put the purpose of your writing in post #1 of every thread from now on. Just a short note such as "I'm practising writing academic papers" will suffice.