the coldness is coming from a forest/jungle

[alpacinou]

Hello.

I'm trying to describe cold in a different way.

Is this good?


She poured herself some coffee. It was a lonely winter night. It was as if all the coldness from a winter forest was creeping into her room.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

Hello.

I'm trying to describe cold in a different way.

Is this good?


She poured herself some coffee. It was a lonely winter night. It was as if all the coldness from a winter forest were creeping into her room.

It's good, but I wouldn't use winter twice there. The hypothetical forest might also be:

- snow-clad
- arctic
- ice-bound
- frost-ridden . . .

. . . and so on, forever.

 

[alpacinou]

It's good, but I wouldn't use winter twice there. The hypothetical forest might also be:

- snow-clad
- arctic
- ice-bound
- frost-ridden . . .

. . . and so on, forever.

I really like your suggestions.

What about this?

She poured herself some coffee. It was a lonesome winter night, as if all the coldness and loneliness from a arctic forest were creeping into her room.


P.S: coldness were creeping? Isn't coldness uncountable?

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

I really like your suggestions.

What about this?

She poured herself some coffee. It was a lonesome winter night, as if all the coldness and loneliness from an arctic forest were creeping into her room.

P.S: coldness were creeping? Isn't coldness uncountable?

It doesn't matter whether it's countable. The words as if tell us it's hypothetical, as in the expression If I were you. So we say were: as if it were.

Also, note that we usually don't call snowy forests jungles. Jungles are usually in warm climates.

 

[alpacinou]

It doesn't matter whether it's countable. The words as if tell us it's hypothetical, as in the expression If I were you. So we say were: as if it were.

Also, note that we usually don't call snowy forests jungles. Jungles are usually in warm climates.

I see. I haven't used jungle. Is forest also problematic? So, you don't have jungles in Colorado for example? You just call them woods?

Also, is it okay to use "as if" in the middle of the sentence like this?

She poured herself some coffee. It was a lonesome winter night, as if all the coldness and loneliness from an arctic forest were creeping into her room.

 

[Tarheel]

Hello.

I'm trying to describe cold in a different way.

Is this good?


She poured herself some coffee. It was a lonely winter night. It was as if all the coldness from an arctic tundra was creeping into her room.

Unlike Charlie, I don't have a problem with "was" there.

(I "cheated" and used Charlie's "arctic" suggestion.)

 

[alpacinou]

Unlike Charlie, I don't have a problem with "was" there.

(I "cheated" and used Charlie's "arctic" suggestion.)

I like your suggestion!

Just so I'm clear, "forest" does not work?

 

[Tarheel]

No, I didn't say that. But I think "tundra" is more suggestive of cold than "forest" is. And "arctic tundra" is perhaps doubly so.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

No, I didn't say that. But I think "tundra" is more suggestive of cold than "forest" is. And "arctic tundra" is perhaps doubly so.

Yes, I think tundra is generally colder than taiga or boreal forest (which we don't use in conversation very often).

 

[alpacinou]

Thank you both.

What can I use instead of creep into?

She poured herself some coffee. It was a lonesome winter night, as if all the coldness and loneliness from an arctic tundra were creeping into her room.

 

[Tarheel]

I like the use of creeping there. Why change it?

 

[alpacinou]

I like the use of creeping there. Why change it?

I want to know if other options are available for the sake of learning.

 

[Tarheel]

The cold came in unannounced and uninvited and chilled her to the bone.

Two things. One, you can dispense with "creeping" altogether if you wish. Two, in the above sentence you could add "unwelcome" to the mix although that's more or less implied.

It was a gloomy day, and winter was having its way.

 

[alpacinou]

Thanks. But I still want to know if I can use a verb other than creep in this sentence:

She poured herself some coffee. It was a lonesome winter night, as if all the coldness and loneliness from an arctic tundra were creeping into her room.

 

[Tarheel]

I looked for some synonyms for "creep" but I didn't find any that in my opinion would fit there. Maybe Charlie will come up with something.
:-|

 

[emsr2d2]

sneaking

 

[alpacinou]

sneaking

Great! Do I use "into" as preposition or "up"?

She poured herself some coffee. It was a lonesome winter night, as if all the coldness and loneliness from an arctic tundra were sneaking into her room.

 

[alpacinou]

Great! Do I use "into" as preposition or "up"?

She poured herself some coffee. It was a lonesome winter night, as if all the coldness and loneliness from an arctic tundra were sneaking into her room.

Or ?

She poured herself some coffee. It was a lonesome winter night, as if all the coldness and loneliness from an arctic tundra were sneaking up her room.

 

[emsr2d2]

Definitely not "sneaking up". If you want to end with "her room", it has to be "sneaking into". You can "sneak up on someone".

 

[alpacinou]

Definitely not "sneaking up". If you want to end with "her room", it has to be "sneaking into". You can "sneak up on someone".

You folks are the best teachers I could have.:up: