The Effects of Immigration on Adults, Young Adults and Children

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Azilon

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This is a writing exercise from my book. İf you find mistakes or wierd expressions please correct. Thank you.

In terms of adults these effects are more predictable, less complex or powerful compared to young adults and children. Because they have already completed their character development and they are more powerful emotionally. That's why they generally don't have emotional issues or even though they have diffuculties (e.g to integrate a new cultural environment, to be homesick, to leave friends and family behind.) they generally cope with them better than young adult or children. Adults generally are confronted by problems like financial or official issues or finding a convenient place to live in.

On the other hand young adults or children go through a more emotional period. They haven't completed their character development yet and they are more sensetive to profound changes. At the begining children go through a shocking period. They see a vast change in their environment. However they adapt more quickly compared to young adults. But when it comes to young adults this adaptation process gets really difficult. As if they got caught by a thunder storm while crossing a rope bridge. Maybe they are preparing for university entrance exams or maybe they are in university or maybe they are at the begining of their carriers. The last period of life before they are an adult, an indipendent individual. The torrent of changes or problems can make young adults feel overwhelmed.
 
This is a writing exercise from my book. İf you find mistakes or wierd expressions please correct. Thank you.

In terms of adults these effects are more predictable, less complex or powerful compared to young adults and children. Because they have already completed their character development and they are more powerful emotionally. That's why they generally don't have emotional issues or even though they have diffuculties (e.g to integrate a new cultural environment, to be homesick, to leave friends and family behind.) they generally cope with them better than young adult or children. Adults generally are confronted by problems like financial or official issues or finding a convenient place to live in.

On the other hand young adults or children go through a more emotional period. They haven't completed their character development yet and they are more sensetive to profound changes. At the begining children go through a shocking period. They see a vast change in their environment. However they adapt more quickly compared to young adults. But when it comes to young adults this adaptation process gets really difficult. As if they got caught by a thunder storm while crossing a rope bridge. Maybe they are preparing for university entrance exams or maybe they are in university or maybe they are at the begining of their carriers. The last period of life before they are an adult, an indipendent individual. The torrent of changes or problems can make young adults feel overwhelmed.

Please fix the spelling errors underlined.

There are some incomplete sentences.

I do not see the word "immigration" in your essay, which I thought is a keyword.
 
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This is a writing exercise from my book. İf you find mistakes or weird/unnatural expressions, please correct them. Thank you.

In terms of adults, these effects are more predictable, less complex [STRIKE]or[/STRIKE] and less powerful compared to the effects on young adults and children because [ 1] [STRIKE]they[/STRIKE] adults have already completed their character development and they are more [STRIKE]powerful[/STRIKE] stable emotionally. That's why they generally don't have emotional issues [STRIKE]or[/STRIKE] even though they might have other difficulties (e.g [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] integrating into a new cultural environment, [STRIKE]to be[/STRIKE] feeling homesick, [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] [ 2] and leaving friends and family behind). They generally cope [STRIKE]with them[/STRIKE] better than [STRIKE]young adult[/STRIKE] teenagers or children. Adults generally are confronted by problems like financial or [STRIKE]official[/STRIKE] logistical issues or things like finding suitable accommodation. [STRIKE]a convenient place to live in.[/STRIKE]

On the other hand, [STRIKE]young adults[/STRIKE] adolescents or children go through a more emotional period as new immigrants. They haven't completed their character development yet and they are more sensitive to profound changes. At the beginning, children go through a [STRIKE]shocking[/STRIKE] period of uncertainty. They see a vast change in their environment. However they adapt more quickly compared to young adults. But when it comes to young adults, this adaptation process [STRIKE]gets[/STRIKE] can be really difficult. [ 2] [STRIKE]As if they got caught by a thunder storm while crossing a rope bridge. [/STRIKE]Maybe they are preparing for university entrance exams or maybe they are in university, or [STRIKE]maybe[/STRIKE] perhaps they are at the beginning of their careers. [STRIKE]carriers[/STRIKE]. [ 3] [STRIKE]The last period of life before they are an adult, an indipendent individual[/STRIKE]. The torrent of changes or problems can make young adults feel overwhelmed.
[ 1]: What you had was a dependent clause. That cannot stand alone as a sentence.
[ 2]: That is also a dependent clause. Also, avoid using (or making up) such colloquialisms in formal or semi-formal writing.
[ 3]: Yet again, this is a dependent clause. An independent clause needs to have a main verb in it. That is a verb that clearly indicates tense.
 
How about starting the essay as follows?

The effects of immigration on adults are more predictable...
 
Ohh yes I totally forgot. Thanks
 
[ 1]: What you had was a dependent clause. That cannot stand alone as a sentence.
[ 2]: That is also a dependent clause. Also, avoid using (or making up) such colloquialisms in formal or semi-formal writing.
[ 3]: Yet again, this is a dependent clause. An independent clause needs to have a main verb in it. That is a verb that clearly indicates tense.

Thanks a lot . It seems I must study "caluse" but in my resources of intermediate level I haven't got to clauses yet. However I understood basic mistakes that I did with the clauses.
 
Thanks a lot. It seems I must study [STRIKE]"clause"[/STRIKE] clauses but [STRIKE]in my resources of[/STRIKE] I am studying at intermediate level and I haven't got to clauses yet. However, I [STRIKE]understood[/STRIKE] understand the basic mistakes that I [STRIKE]did[/STRIKE] made with the clauses.

Please note my corrections above. Note that we don't "do mistakes"; we "make mistakes".
 
Azilon, you repeat yourself quite a bit. (Are you getting paid by the word?) Also, adolescents (or teenagers) is a better choice than young adults.
 
Azilon, you repeat yourself quite a bit. (Are you getting paid by the word?) Also, adolescents (or teenagers) is a better choice than young adults.

Young adults are 16-30. "Teenager" can't be used as equivalent to "young adult".
 
Thanks for setting me straight.
:roll:
 
Young adults are 16-30. "Teenager" can't be used as equivalent to "young adult".

Who has defined this? In many countries, people become adults at 18, older in cases like Japan.
 
Young adults are 16-30. "Teenager" can't be used as equivalent to "young adult".

I wouldn't call a 30-year-old a young adult.
 
There are three separate categories: children, adolescents, and adults. You can't contrast young adults with adults as they are not separate categories. (Maybe you can contrast younger adults with older adults.)
 
I wouldn't call a 30-year-old a young adult.

It might work as professional jargon, but very few non-specialists would include either end of those ages in the term.
 
Who has defined this? In many countries, people become adults at 18, older in cases like Japan.

If you are a "young adult" you are still considered an "adult" but a"young" one. It seems that the complexity that societies have reached requires more detailed categorizations.
 
If you are a "young adult" you are still considered an "adult" but a"young" one. It seems that the complexity that societies have reached requires more detailed categorizations.
Different cultures have different definitions. In most cases, a sixteen-year-old American is not an adult legally or culturally. Whether an eighteen-year-old is considered an adult here depends on the context.

Our census bureau treats people from 18 to 44 as the younger working-age population.

So, yes, it's complicated. I'm sure you can find all kinds of category systems if you search the web. In general, it's just good to simply be careful and thoughtful about pigeonholing people in arbitrary categories.
 
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