[Grammar] The sun had almost gone completely to give way to a cloudy but not cold day

[Nikitus]

Hello.

Are the following sentences grammatically correct?

"The sun had almost gone completely to give way to a cloudy but not cold day, because it was hot anyway. In the interior of a supermarket, Kevin and Jennifer were walking in the meat section in the evening. Jennifer tried to get closer and win the trust of Kevin, to help him, and told the truth to him as a friend."

Thanks.

 

[emsr2d2]

The sun had almost completely disappeared, giving way to a cloudy, but warm, evening. In the supermarket, Kevin and Jennifer were browsing the meat aisle. Jennifer approached Kevin, trying to win his trust by telling him the truth.

My suggestion above is the best I can do with what you wrote. I'm not really sure if I've got the gist of it though. Without knowing the context, I have no idea what the "truth" is.

 

[Nikitus]

Dear emsr2d2:

First of all, thanks again for all your help.

I am trying to write the following:

-Jennifer did not know well Kevin. She is trying to win his trust.
-After she win the trust of Kevin, she will tell him the truth about a deception that Kevin is suffering (and Kevin is not aware of it.)

Thanks!

 

[emsr2d2]

If they don't know each other well, why are they supermarket shopping together?

 

[Tarheel]

Jennifer does not know Kevin well, but she knows a lot about him. In fact, she knows things about him he doesn't know.

Jennifer is trying to win Kevin's trust. Why? So she can tell him something about himself that he doesn't know.

I think Jennifer wants to ask Kevin for money.

 

[Nikitus]

Kevin is a easy going person, and Jennifer is a nice girl. They are buying together, but they are not best friends. Jennifer wants to win the trust of Kevin to tell him that one of his friends his inventing a a deception.

Thanks.

 

[emsr2d2]

We don't say "inventing a deception". Do you mean that Jennifer knows that one of Kevin's friends is lying to him about something?

 

[Tarheel]

They are shopping together. (Not "buying together".)

Jennifer: I know something that I think I should tell you.
Kevin: OK. Tell me.

Jennifer should just tell him. (The way to win somebody's trust is to tell the truth.)

 

[Tony Phillips]

Hello.

Are the following sentences grammatically correct?

"The sun had almost gone completely to give way to a cloudy but not cold day, because it was hot anyway. In the interior of a supermarket, Kevin and Jennifer were walking in the meat section in the evening. Jennifer tried to get closer and win the trust of Kevin, to help him, and told the truth to him as a friend."

Thanks.

The only thing I can see that's possibly grammatically incorrect is "tell" instead of "told", unless I'm not getting it? Although the rest seems fine grammatically, the sentences are clunky and not very fluently read. Using the info you've given, I'd write it something like this;
The sun was setting to end another hot day. Inside a supermarket, Kevin and Jennifer were walking along by the meat section. She found herself with him again, working on trying to obtain Kevin's trust. Jennifer wanted to help him, to tell him a truth he needed to know, something she couldn't felt she couldn't do yet.

[Not a teacher]

 

[teechar]

something she [STRIKE]couldn't[/STRIKE] felt she couldn't do yet.

.

 

[Nikitus]

Thanks to all for your help.

Dear emsr2d2:

Do you mean that Jennifer knows that one of Kevin's friends is lying to him about something?

Yes, is exactly what I was trying to write.

 

[emsr2d2]

Yes, that is exactly what I was trying to write.

Note the correction above.