their love burst into existence

[alpacinou]

Hello,

Can I use the collocation "burst into existence" to talk about love or romance? I mean I know it's overly dramatic, but in a certain context, would this sentence work?

Their love\passion for each other burst into existence when they were performing on the stage.

 

[emsr2d2]

I don't like it.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

The "into existence" is a real clunker. Watch out for those three-syllable words and five-syllable phrases. They're a mouthful.

People make fun of Strunk and White's The Elements of Style, but their advice to stick to simple Anglo-Saxon (i.e. old) English words usually works.

 

[tedmc]

How about:
Their love for each other was kindled when they were performing on the stage.

 

[Tarheel]

How about:
Their love for each other was kindled when they were performing on [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] stage together.

Now it's perfect.
:up: