[Essay] think differently

contiluo

Member
Joined
Apr 12, 2010
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
Chinese
Home Country
Taiwan
Current Location
Taiwan
Please help me make the paragraphs below sound natural. Thanks.

Let me talk about my hobbies. For one thing, I love reading comic books. The reasons are as follows. First, comic books are fun to read. Reading comics makes me relaxed, and it also helps me widen imagination, gain interest in reading, and improve inferencing skills. Next, comic books use complex language which improves my verbal intelligence. They not only make me smarter but also teach me to think differently. Last, comic books also teach positive messages, like helping others, doing one’s best, working as a team, and perseverance.

For another thing, I love playing on-line games. There are some reasons for this. To begin with, playing on-line games can be exciting, entertaining, and challenging. Games like taking care of a virtual pet like horse games or building cities, puzzles and more can be quite fun. Secondly, I enjoy competing with other players to prove to my friends that I’m the best. I find it very rewarding to win the game and get to the next level. Thirdly, I love being immersed in a fantasy world where I can do something that I could not normally do in real life through this game. Lastly, I can get support from others and find something to talk about. Thus, I feel like I belong to a group and have social interaction.
 

teechar

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Feb 18, 2015
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
English
Home Country
Iraq
Current Location
Iraq
Please help me make the paragraphs below sound natural. Thanks.

Let me talk about my hobbies. For one thing, I love reading comic books. The reasons are as follows. First, comic books are fun to read. Reading comics makes me relaxed, and it also helps me [STRIKE]widen[/STRIKE] broaden my imagination, [STRIKE]gain[/STRIKE] increase my interest in reading, and improve [STRIKE]inferencing[/STRIKE] my deductive skills. Next, comic books use complex language which improves my verbal intelligence. They not only make me smarter but also teach me to think differently. Last, comic books also teach positive messages, like helping others, doing one’s best, working as a team, and perseverance.

[STRIKE]For another thing,[/STRIKE] Additionally, I love playing online games. [STRIKE]There are some reasons for this. To begin with, playing on-line games[/STRIKE] This is because they can be exciting, entertaining, and challenging. Games [STRIKE]like[/STRIKE] about taking care of a virtual pet [STRIKE]like horse games[/STRIKE] or building cities, as well aspuzzles and [STRIKE]more[/STRIKE] other games can be quite fun. Secondly, I enjoy competing with other players to prove to my friends that I’m the best. I find it very rewarding to win [STRIKE]the game[/STRIKE] and get to the next level. Thirdly, I love being immersed in a fantasy world where I can do something that I could not normally do in real life. [STRIKE]through this game.[/STRIKE] Lastly, I can get support from others and find something to talk about. Thus, I feel like I belong to a group and have social interaction.
.
 
Top