[Essay] Topics: " write a paragraph about one of yours idols "

[twinklestar]

In your life, you need an idol and so do I because it is obvious that idols inspire us in many ways from life style to behavior to characteristics. For me, the man I particularly admire is my grandfather. Born in times of war, he sooner joined the army for peace. Due to his talent an patriotism, he tried his best to creat the victory of many battles, which made him be voted for commander position. His brothers-in-arms always looked up to and regarded him as their oldest brother because he was caring and shared difficulties with them. Then, in times of peace, he was discharged from the army and got by on a variety of different jobs for bringing us five children. Actually his sacrifice is deserved to being admirable. Until now, when his children grew up, although each person has a personal family, he still teaches the right to better their life. As his nephew, i live in the magic world with numerous fairytales he updates . Moreover, these stories he tells virtually associate with aspects of life with the view to helping me deeply understand about various in invaluable lessons. The way of his living has inspired me and everyone. Now and then, my grandfather is an idol in my mind forever.
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Please ! Help me check about context and grammar !!!
Thank in advance ;-)

 

[emsr2d2]

When are you going to submit your essay to your teacher/tutor?

 

[Tarheel]

In any case, it should be:

Write a paragraph about one of YOUR idols.

(If he's your grandfather you can't be his nephew.)