Working From Home (Essay, please check)

[Introvert]

Topic: Many people are working at home rather than in the workplace. Some people believe this will bring benefits to the workers and their families, but others suggest it will cause stress in the home. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Me:
Nowadays means of communication are more and more suitable for working from home. From the viewpoint of some people, this is definitely convenient to earn and enhance the experience, while others think this makes stress at home. In my opinion, this method has benefitted the society, in several ways. This essay will analyse both sides of the argument.

Homeworking saves a lot of time that allows employees to work from any place and spend it on computing. For example, an individual that lives quite far away from the office can save hours, by working remotely. It means that this allows him to give more time to his family or do hobbies. Hence, working remotely has a number of good sides for the employees.

On the other side, it might cause some serious problems. Firstly, remote workers have to continuously put in more effort so that keeping their position in the company. Moreover, a long time sitting in this way is definitely bad for their health. In addition, they sometimes forget to meet others such as relatives. It means that they very rarely meet face-to-face.

To conclude, working remotely has both upsides and downsides. It depends on who is going to work, so he must figure out whether working at home or workplace is better. In my opinion, if we learn how to manage our time for our job and our families, we can easily keep a balance between both jobs and families.

 

[emsr2d2]

What is the purpose of your essay? Is it an assignment? If so, when is it due?

 

[Introvert]

What is the purpose of your essay? Is it an assignment? If so, when is it due?

The purpose of my essay is giving my point of view.

 

[Tarheel]

I think you mean that by working at home you can save the time that would ordinarily be spent commuting. On the other hand, greater discipline might be required as it might be harder to focus on work.

 

[emsr2d2]

The purpose of my essay is giving my point of view.

I understand that the prompt (the essay title) requires you to give your point of view. I'm asking you where you found the essay title and why you decided to write the essay.

 

[Introvert]

I understand that the prompt (the essay title) requires you to give your point of view. I'm asking you where you found the essay title and why you decided to write the essay.

I want to enhance my writing skills by writing essays, of course, with your feedback.

 

[Introvert]

I understand that the prompt (the essay title) requires you to give your point of view. I'm asking you where you found the essay title and why you decided to write the essay.

I suppose that there are plenty of mistakes in my essay.

 

[emsr2d2]

Topic: Many people are working at home rather than in the workplace. Some people believe this will bring benefits to the workers and their families, but others suggest it will cause stress in the home. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Me:
Nowadays, means of communication methods are more and more increasingly suitable for working from home. From the viewpoint of Some people think/believe [that] this working from home is definitely convenient to earn and enhance the experience, while others think this it makes causes stress at home. In my opinion, this method it has benefitted the society no comma here in several ways. This essay will analyse both sides of the argument.

Homeworking Working away from the workplace saves a lot of time, that allowing employees to work from any place and spend it on computing. For example, an individual someone that who lives quite far away from the office can save hours of travel time by working remotely. It means that This allows him them to give devote more time to his their family or do enjoy their hobbies. Hence Therefore, working remotely has a number of good sides advantages for the employees.

On the other side hand, it might cause some serious problems. Firstly, Remote workers have to continuously put in more effort so that keeping to retain their position in the a company. Moreover Also, sitting for a long time sitting in this way extended periods is definitely bad for their the health. In addition, Finally, they sometimes forget to meet others such as relatives. It means that they very rarely meet face-to-face.

To conclude, working remotely has both upsides and downsides. It depends on who is going to work the individual; so he they must figure out whether working at home or at the workplace is better for them. In my opinion, if we learn how to manage both our work and family time for our job and our families, we can easily keep find a balance. between both jobs and families.

Please note my changes above. I don't understand any of the underlined parts:

1. How is something "convenient to earn and enhance something"? What do you mean by "earn" there? What experience are you talking about?
2. I don't understand "spend it on computing". What does "it" refer to? If you're working from home, you're almost certainly working on a computer anyway.
3. What makes you think that working from home means that people forget to meet up with their relatives? I can't see any connection between the two.
4. Who does "they" refer to? If you're talking about the employee and their relatives, that whole sentence is redundant because you've covered it in the second underlined sentence (at point 3 above).

 

[Introvert]

Sorry.

1. “...is definitely convenient to earn and enhance the experience,” I meant like “is advantageous for workers,”

Earn = make money
2. "spend it(=more time that is saved) on computing".

3. In order to not to face questions like this I have written a word "sometimes".

 

[emsr2d2]

Sorry.

1. “...is definitely convenient to earn and enhance the experience,” I meant like “is advantageous for workers,”
Earn = make money

Then that's what you should have written (or something like it, at least). Your original was meaningless.

2. "spend it(=more time that is saved) on computing".

That doesn't help me. How are they saving time on using a computer if they're using a computer all day?

3. In order to not to face questions like this I have written a word "sometimes".

Adding "sometimes" makes no difference. Why does working from home mean that people forget to meet up with their relatives? Working from home doesn't have a detrimental effect on people's memory. Why would working at the workplace magically make people remember to meet up with their relatives? (I'm starting to wonder if you meant "colleagues". Your relatives are members of your family. They have nothing to do with where you choose to work.)

 

[Tarheel]

Perhaps:

With the time saved by not having to commute to and from work you will have more time to enjoy your hobbies.

The temptation might be very strong to spend time on your hobbies rather than working.

 

[Introvert]

Then that's what you should have written (or something like it, at least). Your original was meaningless.

That doesn't help me. How are they saving time on using a computer if they're using a computer all day?

Adding "sometimes" makes no difference. Why does working from home mean that people forget to meet up with their relatives? Working from home doesn't have a detrimental effect on people's memory. Why would working at the workplace magically make people remember to meet up with their relatives? (I'm starting to wonder if you meant "colleagues". Your relatives are members of your family. They have nothing to do with where you choose to work.)

Sorry about that.

 

[emsr2d2]

Sorry about that.

Don't apologise. I want you to try to explain what you meant. That will help you practise your English.

 

[Tarheel]

Your conclusion seems to be that it's harder to get any work done if you work from home. (That makes sense.)

The last paragraph is unnecessary. ("In conclusion" is the phrase. (It's a good one to know if you need it for your word count.))