Socialising in the UK tips and useful phrases

Socialising in the UK tips and useful phrases

Read the descriptions of British socialising below and write the names of any countries which you think are the same in that way next to each point, e.g. “Germany” if that point is the same there. If that point is different in every country that you know about, leave it blank and move on to the next one.

It’s normal to have one or two drinks after work before going home for dinner, and even more serious nights out tend to be advertised as a brief informal drink (“Do you fancy going out for a pint?”, “Do you have time for a quick pint before you go home?”, “Okay, just the one then I really must get going”, etc).

 

People sometimes make insincere suggestions about socialising together in order to be polite and friendly, but the imprecise language means people can usually understand that it is not meant as a real invitation (“We must meet up sometime”, “You should come round for a drink sometime”, “I’ll let you know when I’m free”, etc). 

 

Positive responses to invitations need very enthusiastic phrases (“That sounds lovely”, “I’d love to”, etc) and anything less positive sounds like you don’t want to come (so don’t say “That sounds okay”, “Sure, I suppose so”, etc).

 

If you say no to an invitation, you need to say something nice about the invitation, be very specific about the reasons why not and probably mention another future time (“I would have loved to, but I’m afraid I have a meeting in Harrow so I won’t be back in time, but please ask me again next time”, “That sounds absolutely perfect but unfortunately I have to take my in-laws out for dinner. I’m free next week if you have time then”, etc). Anything else will be taken to mean that you don’t want to be invited again (so don’t say “I’m sorry, I’m busy”, “I’m afraid I have another arrangement”, etc).

 

It’s normal for people sitting at the bar to start conversations with the bar staff and each other (“Are you guys regulars?”, “So, you guys are Liverpool fans, hey?” etc), but people sitting at tables rarely start conversations (so don’t say “Sorry, can I join your conversation?”, “Can I sit here?”, etc).

 

In the pub, perhaps the most common topic of conversation is sport (“You’re team’s not doing very well, is it?”, “So, what do you think about the new England manager, then?”), so if you aren’t naturally interested then you will need to at least pick a team to support and read some of the major sporting news in a newspaper or online.

 

In a pub and most other bars, each person takes turns buying drinks for everyone in their group, going up the bar to order and pay each time (“It’s my round”, “Can I get you anything?”, “The same again?”, “It’s a gin and tonic, right?”)

 

If you want to tip the barman, you usually do so by offering to buy them a drink (“And get one for yourself”, etc), not by offering cash.

 

It’s very rare to seriously and directly discuss work matters during after-work socialising, although work gossip (“Did you hear about…?”, “I heard a rumour that…”, “There’s a rumour going around about…”, etc) and general discussions about the state of the economy (“The Chinese economy isn’t looking too good, eh?”) are sometimes okay.

 

There is no taboo about directly mentioning the toilet, but there are also many more indirect and/ or jokey names for it (“the gents”, “the ladies”, “the little boys’ room”, “the smallest room”, “going to a pee”, “the WC”, “Sorry, I have a bit of a dodgy tummy”, etc).

 

It’s common to go Dutch (“Shall we split the bill?”, “What’s half of forty three pounds?”, etc).

 

It’s normal for the guest to offer to pay, but the conversation doesn’t tend to go on for too long (“Please, let me pay” “No, no, no, it’s my treat”, “Okay, thank you very much. You must let me take you out next time”) and people almost never fight about it.

 

There are fixed things to say when someone makes or buys a meal for you (“Thanks, that was delicious”, etc) and anything less (“This is interesting”, “Hmmm, I’ve never tried anything like this before”, etc) will be taken to mean you don’t like it.

 

British people usually avoid raising their voice when calling a waiter, saying something polite and/ or indirect, and often not finishing the sentence (“Sorry”, “Could you just?”, “Sorry, can I?”) instead of just catching the waiter’s attention (so not usually “Waiter!” or “Excuse me”).

 

It’s rare to complain in restaurants, shops, hotels, etc, sometimes even hiding your real feelings from the staff when they ask (“How’s your meal?” “It’s lovely, thanks”, etc) and then just not coming back there again.

 

Waiters will usually only bring the bill when they are asked to (“Excuse me? Can we have the bill?”, “We’ll all full, thanks. We’ll just have the bill”, or making a signing in the sky gesture).

 

Tipping is not very standardised, and although it is often about 15% it can also sometimes be rounding up the bill (“Keep the change”, etc).

 

It’s normal to make a comment or two about last night’s drinks in the office the next day (“We all had a few too many last night. How’s your head?”, “You had a good night!”, “You were hilarious last night!”, etc).

 

Ask about any descriptions above which you don’t understand, aren’t sure are true in the UK, or aren’t sure about in other countries.

 

Brainstorming stage

Without looking above for now, fill the gaps below with things you should say (and sometimes things you shouldn’t say) in British-style communication. Many phrases not above are also possible.

It’s normal to have one or two drinks after work before going home for dinner, and even more serious nights out tend to be advertised as a brief informal drink (____________________________________________________________________________________________________________).

People sometimes make insincere suggestions about socialising together in order to be polite and friendly, but the imprecise language means people can usually understand that it is not meant as a real invitation (____________________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________).

Positive responses to invitations need very enthusiastic phrases (____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________)

and anything less positive sounds like you don’t want to come (so don’t say __________________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________).

If you say no to an invitation, you need to say something nice about the invitation, be very specific about the reasons why not, and probably mention another future time (____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________).

Anything else will be taken to mean that you don’t want to be invited again (so don’t say ______________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________).

it’s normal for people sitting at the bar to start conversations with the bar staff and each other (_______________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________),

but people sitting at tables rarely start conversations (so don’t say ______________________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________).

In the pub, perhaps the most common topic of conversation is sport (____________________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________)

so if you aren’t naturally interested then you will need to at least pick a team to support and read some of the major sporting news in a newspaper or online.

In a pub and most other bars, each person takes turns buying drinks for everyone in their group, going up the bar to order and pay each time (____________________________________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________).

If you want to tip the barman, you usually do so by offering to buy them a drink (____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________), not by offering cash.

It’s very rare to seriously and directly discuss work matters during after-work socialising, although work gossip (___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________)

and general discussions about the state of the economy (_______________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________) are sometimes okay.

There is no taboo about directly mentioning the toilet, but there are also many more indirect and/ or jokey names for it (_________________________

___________________________________________________________________________________________________).

It’s common to go Dutch (________________________________________________________________________________________________________).

It’s normal for the guest to offer to pay, but the conversation doesn’t tend to go on for too long (____________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________________________) and people almost never fight about it.

There are fixed things to say when someone makes or buys a meal for you (_______________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________).

and anything less (____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________) will be taken to mean you don’t like it.

 British people usually avoid raising their voice when calling a waiter, saying something polite and/ or indirect, and often not finishing the sentence (___________________________________________________) instead of just catching the waiter’s attention (so not usually _______________________________).

It’s rare to complain in restaurants, shops, hotels, etc, sometimes even hiding your real feelings from the staff when they ask (_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________) and then just not coming back there again.

Waiters will usually only bring the bill when they are asked to (___________________________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________).

Tipping is not very standardised, and although it is often about 15% it can also sometimes be rounding up the bill (_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________).

It’s normal to make a comment or two about last night’s drinks in the office the next day (______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________).

Check your answers with the first worksheet. Many other phrases are possible, so please check if you wrote different phrases.

Take turns saying one of the expressions above or that you brainstormed for your partner to reply to.

Listen to your partner say one of the phrases above, reply, then together roleplay the rest of that conversation.