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Old 27-Aug-2009, 05:56
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Thumbs up IELTS WRITING PRACTISE---Please can someone revise it?

WRITING TASK

An English – speaking friend is coming to study at your college next year and has written asking for information and advice.
Write a letter to your friend. In your letter:
  • give advice about accommodation in the town
  • descrive the best thing about the college
  • offer to show your friend around the college

Write at keast 150 words



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Dear John,

I’m happy to know that you’ve finally made the decision of studying here. Let me congratulate you for that.

I know you’ll love the college. There a big fountain at the entrance just in front of the statue of Francis Caldas,who was the founder of the college. As in many places, there is also a cafeteria, but the best of all is that just behind it there is a gallery. That shows all the works made by students, even if they are not artists!
When you get here I’ll show you this as well as the surrounding of the college. It’s got a natural view just for relaxing after a tiring day.

I was checking some places in town for you to accommodate, and there are 2 possibilities that I considered right for you. One is a single room 3 blocks far from college. The rent is $60 per month but you have to get your own food because there is no kitchen. The other one is a big room that you have to share with other 2 guys. That’s $80 per month and it’s got a kitchen and a livingroom.

I hope it would be helpful for you. See you at the airport.

Andrea Q

=====================================


Thanks
  #2  
Old 29-Aug-2009, 19:48
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 50
Home Country: Russian Federation
Native Language: Russian
Current Location: Israel
Member Type: Interested in Language
Default Re: IELTS WRITING PRACTISE---Please can someone revise it?

Hi,
I corrected only what seemed obviously wrong (like language style, grammar and spelling mistakes). But frankly, I would rewrite the whole letter, make it more vivid, add more adjectives and enrich the language.

Hope it helped )

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =




Dear John,

I’m happy to know that you’ve finally made the decision of studying here. Let me congratulate you on that.

I know you’ll love the college. There is a big fountain at the entrance just in front of the statue of Francis Caldas, who was the founder of the college. As in many places, there is also a cafeteria, but the best place is just behind it - there is a gallery. That demonstrates all the works done by students, even if they are not artists!
When you get here I’ll show you this as well as the surrounding of the college. It’s got a natural view just for relaxing after a tiring day.

I was checking some places in town for you to accommodate, and there are 2 possibilities that I considered right for you. One, is a single room 3 blocks away from the college. The rent is $60 per month but you have to buy cooked food because there is no kitchen. The other one is a big room, shared with two roommates. That’s $80 per month and it’s got a kitchen and a living room.

I hope you found this information helpful. See you at the airport.

Andrea Q

=====================================
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