Help for my motivation letter for the university

[Christoph]

Hello Guys,

Could you please help me with my motivation letter for the university of auckland. I finished the letter right now - but i am not quite sure whether it is written in a good way or not. So i just post it here and please tell me your opinion about it - and possible improvements

this letter is very important for me and my future studies!!!

Dear Sir or Madame,

I would like to take this opportunity to provide further background information in support of my application for entrance to the studies of environmental science at the University of Auckland.

I am an Austrian citizen and lived most of my life in the capital Vienna. When I finished my final high school exam and after 12 months of civil service i immediately started to study at the University of Natural Resources and Applied Life Science (BOKU) in Vienna. I enrolled for the studies of “Environment and Resource Management” which offered a wide range of subjects dealing with natural science, sociology and economic science. Always being interested in nature my passion for environmental protection and conservation is continuously growing due to my studies, the values and thoughts brought to me by teaching professors and my personal beliefs.

Due to the unique chance of working in an important company I am now employed as a trainee at OMV (Österreichische Mineralöl Verwaltung) – Austria’s biggest petrol Oil Company. In particular I am working for the Innovation Management dealing with different kinds off alternative fuels their production and implementation in the market. As well as the planning and organisation of the “long night of research” project in Vienna where alternative drives and fuels are exposed to the public.

Since a couple of years I have the dream to go to New Zealand, and it grew even bigger when I visited the exhibition of the Ranke-Heinemann institute showing the possibilities of studying in New Zealand with representatives of different universities. The fascination arises in the beauty due to diversity and extremes of the complex landscape and cultural issues. As well as my personal fascination of outdoor sports such as surfing, snowboarding and mountaineering and therefore valuing the beauty and plurality of nature.
Growing up in Vienna I am used to the vivid life of a city which makes Auckland the best fitting place to study. The combination of city life standards, its infrastructure and possibilities with a close connection to nature and rural environment is a major reason for the choice of Auckland.

The possibility of a research year in the second half of the master studies and to put my knowledge into practice is an impressive option which is not provided in that way by the Austrian study system. Experiencing the different approaches of sustainability, conservation and management with regards to New Zealand’s unique eco system and cultural backgrounds and the possibility of input from my side due to Austrian and European ways of thinking is highly motivating myself to study at the University of Auckland.


Yours faithfully



... thanks for reading!

[wise owl]

Hi,

The letter is well written, I made just a few changes added, removed and rephrased what I considered necessary.

Viel Glück! :)

Dear Sir or Madame,

I would like to take this opportunity to provide further background information in support of my application for entrance to the studies of environmental science at the University of Auckland.

I am an Austrian (a citizen of Austria) and lived most of my life in the capital Vienna. When I graduated (finished my final) high school (exam) and after 12 months of civil service I immediately started to study at the University of Natural Resources and Applied Life Science (BOKU) in Vienna. I enrolled for the studies of “Environment and Resource Management” which offered a wide range of subjects dealing with natural science, sociology and economic science. Always being interested in nature, my passion for environmental protection and conservation is continuously growing due to my studies, the values and thoughts brought to me by teaching professors and my personal beliefs.

Due to the unique chance of working in an important company I am now employed as a trainee at OMV (Österreichische Mineralöl Verwaltung) – Austria’s biggest petrol Oil Company. In particular, I am working for the Innovation Management dealing with different kinds off alternative fuels their production and implementation in the market. As well as the planning and organization of the “long night of research” project in Vienna where alternative drives and fuels are exposed to the public.

For a few years (already), I have been dreaming to fly to New Zealand. This desire grew even stronger after I had visited the exhibition of the Ranke-Heinemann institute showing the possibilities of studying in New Zealand with representatives from (I think "from" is more suitable here) different universities. The fascination arises in the beauty due to diversity and extremes of the complex landscape and cultural issues. As well as my personal fascination of outdoor sports such as surfing, snowboarding and mountaineering and therefore valuing the beauty and plurality of nature.

Having grown up in Vienna I am used to the vivid life of a city which makes Auckland the most best fitting place to study. The combination of city life standards, its infrastructure and possibilities with a close connection to nature and rural environment is (or: stand for the major reason...) a major reason for the choice of Auckland.

The possibility of a research year in the second half of the master studies and to apply put my knowledge into practice is an impressive option which is not provided in that way by the Austrian study system. Experiencing the different approaches of sustainability, conservation and management with regards to New Zealand’s unique eco system and cultural backgrounds and the possibility of input from my side due to Austrian and European ways of thinking is highly motivating myself to study at the University of Auckland.


Yours faithfully