Kindly edit my draft here

[Eugene1982]

Hi everyone! I would be very glad if you could find time to edit my draft letter below. Many thanks in advance.



Date : 27 January 2010
To : aaaaa
Attention : The In – Charge
Subject : Request statement transactions


Dear Sir,
Greetings…
Based on the abovementioned subject, may we request latest updates and statement transactions on the account of Mr. CCCCC. Below are the details for your quick reference:
Membership Number : Member Name : Card Type
xxxxxxxxxx : Mr. CCCCC : Silver

Looking forward for your valuable reply as soon as possible.
Many thanks.
In behalf of Mr. CCCCC,
I
Sincerely yours,

Mr. DDDDD

[Gillnetter]

Hi everyone! I would be very glad if you could find time to edit my draft letter below. Many thanks in advance.



Date : 27 January 2010
To : aaaaa
Attention : The In – Charge
Subject : Request statement transactions


Dear Sir,

Greetings…
Based on the abovementioned subject, may we request the latest updates and statement transactions on the account of Mr. CCCCC.? Below are the details for your quick reference:
Membership Number : Member Name : Card Type
xxxxxxxxxx : Mr. CCCCC : Silver

Looking forward for your valuable reply as soon as possible.
Many thanks.
In behalf of Mr. CCCCC,
I {am, remain, or? I would opt to drop the I}
Sincerely yours,

Mr. DDDDD

I made a few changes.

[Eugene1982]

Thanks for a million Gillnitter.