can anyone Plz. correct my Motivation letter ASAP

[catchvind]

Dear Sir or Madam,

I appreciate this opportunity to provide further background information in support of my application for entrance to the Master's Degree Program of Design and Development in Automotive and Mechanical Engineering at Esslingen University of Applied Sciences for the 2010 winter course .I believe my educational background and work experience would enable me to make a strong contribution at the University.

I have always been fascinated by Science and Engineering, especially by cars, this curiosity has led me to pursue my carrier in engineering field. After completion of my first degree in Mechanical Engineering from Dr. Babasaheb Ambedkar Marathwada University, it was quite plain to me that I want to undertake a postgraduate study. As Germany is renowned for its technical excellence (I have seen since my childhood days that people go for the “Made in Germany” product, for its advance technology and the best quality) and extreme engineering triumphs, my first choice was always to study here. Furthermore, by starting courses in English, Germany has opened the doors for an Automotive ardent like me to get in-depth insight of technical know-how.

From my interest of the following technological developments in Automobile industry, I learned that the future of Automobile industry is in Polymer field, as most of the parts (body parts as well as under the hood parts) are made from different polymers. The percentage of polymer has increased from 5% to 14 %( by weight) in the last 5 decades and this amazing growth captured my attention towards this field and i took admission for the Master course in “Polymer Technology” offered at “Hochschule Aalen”. In this 4 semester course I have gained knowledge in Polymer processing, Polymer materials, mold design, CAD/CAE (Mold flow simulation) as well as DOE. During my 2nd semester I have learned how to develop a product starting from market research till prototype, by taking part in a group project. I have also done my “Studienarbeit” on carbon nanotubes (which is future of nanotechnology), where I learned how to approach a problem strategically, how to communicate within a team as well as with others and improved my presentation skills. In this project i have also implemented the DOE software to optimize the injection molding process, which i learned in my 3rd semester. From my current work for “Fashy GmbH” as well as from my thesis work at “Norgren GmbH” I’ve gained some professional experience of the German Industry and learned to organize my tasks and time.

After acquiring good knowledge and some experience in Polymer field I’ve realized that to make a good carrier in an automotive industry (especially in Design and Development),only knowledge of polymer as well as Knowledge I’ve gained in my Bachelors (Fluid Mechanics, Production Technology, Strength of Materials, Machine Design, Industrial Management and Quality Control, Automobile Engineering etc) is not enough to cope up with the current market demands and I must get in depth knowledge of the subjects like “structural analysis, FEM, NVH, Aero dynamics, MBS, Advance strength of material”etc. to stand in the competition.

The course offered at “Hochschule Esslingen” has all the things which I’ve been looking for. Being one of the pioneer universities in Automobile Engineering in Baden Württemberg, university of Esslingen has a strong tradition of research and Development and with highly qualified faculty and well equipped laboratories I have no doubts that I can improve my research skills-besides a solid grounding in the subjects.

In the last 3 years of my stay in Germany, I’ve learned many things on technical, cultural as well as on personal ground. I have very well adapted myself to the German lifestyle which conveys that I am flexible and can adapt myself to new environment. My knowledge of German language helps me a lot to understand German culture well.

To sum up, I am sincere, hard working student who is highly motivated to attend this program because it has all the things which I needed in order to achieve my carrier goal. I would really appreciate to receive an opportunity to study “Design and Development in Automotive and Mechanical Engineering at “Hochschule Esslingen”.

Thank you very much for considering my request. I look forward to your positive response.

Sincerely yours,

[bhanu]

Hi,

I am not a teacher. But I came to know one spelling mistake. Its career and not carrier.

Thanks

[catchvind]

thanx for correcting...

[Gillnetter]

Dear Sir or Madam,

I appreciate this opportunity to provide further background information in support of my application for entrance to the Master's Degree Program of Design and Development in Automotive and Mechanical Engineering at Esslingen University of Applied Sciences for the 2010 winter course. I believe my educational background and work experience would will enable me to make a strong contribution at to the university.

I have always been fascinated by science and engineering, especially by cars. This curiosity has led me to pursue my a carrier career in the engineering field. After completion of my first degree in mechanical engineering from Dr. Babasaheb Ambedkar at Marathwada University, it was quite plain to me that I wanted to undertake a postgraduate study {degrees are granted by schools, not instructors}. As Germany is renowned for its technical excellence and extreme engineering triumphs, my first choice was always to study here there. I have seen since my childhood days that people go for like the “Made in Germany” product, both for its advanced technology and for the best highest quality. Furthermore, by starting offering courses in English, Germany has opened the doors for an automotive ardent enthusiast like me to an get in-depth insight of technical know-how.

From my interest of in the following technological developments in the automobile industry, I learned that the future of the automobile industry is in the polymer field, as most of the parts (body parts as well as under the hood parts) are made from different polymers. The percentage of polymer has increased from 5% to 14 %( by weight) in the last 5 five decades and this amazing growth captured my attention. towards this field and I took the admission {test, exam, course?} for the masters' course in “Polymer Technology” offered at “Hochschule Aalen”. In this 4 four semester course I have gained knowledge in polymer processing, polymer materials, mold design, CAD/CAE (Mold flow simulation) as well as DOE. During my 2nd second semester I have learned how to develop a product starting from market research till to the prototype stage, by taking part in a group project. I have also done my “Studienarbeit” on carbon nanotubes, which is the future of nanotechnology, where I learned how to: approach a problem strategically, how to communicate within a team as well as with others, and improved my presentation skills. In this that project i I have also implemented the DOE software to optimize the injection molding process, which I learned in my 3rd third semester. From my current work for “Fashy GmbH”, as well as from my thesis work at “Norgren GmbH”, I’ve gained some professional experience of the German industry and learned to organize my tasks and time.

After acquiring good knowledge and some experience in the polymer field I’ve realized that to make a good carrier career in an the automotive industry (especially in Design and Development),only knowledge of polymer as well as the knowledge I’ve gained in my Bachelors (Fluid Mechanics, Production Technology, Strength of Materials, Machine Design, Industrial Management and Quality Control, Automobile Engineering, etc.) is not enough to cope up with the current market demands and I must get more of an in-depth knowledge of the subjects like “structural analysis, FEM, NVH, Aero dynamics, MBS, advance strength of material” etc. to stand in the competition.

The course offered at “Hochschule Esslingen” has all the things which I’ve been looking for. Being one of the pioneer universities in automobile engineering in Baden Württemberg, the University of Esslingen has a strong tradition of research and development. and with They have a highly qualified faculty and well equipped laboratories and I have no doubts that I can improve my research skills besides getting a solid grounding in the subjects.

In the last 3 three years of my stay in Germany, I’ve learned many things on a technical, cultural as well as a personal ground bases. I have very well adapted myself to the German lifestyle which conveys that I am flexible and can adapt myself to new environments. My knowledge of the German language helps me a lot to understand German culture well.

To sum up, I am a sincere, hard working student who is highly motivated to attend this program because it has all the things which I needed in order to achieve my carrier career goals. I would really appreciate to receive an opportunity to study “Design and Development in Automotive and Mechanical Engineering at “Hochschule Esslingen”.

Thank you very much for considering my request. I look forward to your positive response.

Sincerely yours,

You should review the rules on capitalization and articles. The editing I have done is not complete. I suggest that you rewrite this letter and post it for comments.

[catchvind]

thanx a lot Gillnator, here is the corrected version as u suggested....plz correct it again and let me know if there are mistakes.

Dear Sir or Madam,

I take this opportunity to provide further information in support of my application for the Master's Degree Program of Design and Development in Automotive and Mechanical Engineering at Esslingen University of Applied Sciences for the 2010 winter course .I believe my educational background and work experience will make me an apt candidate for this Master Course; and that given a chance to study in this course I can utilize this opportunity in best possible way.

I have always been fascinated by science and Engineering, especially by cars. This curiosity and my interest in the technical field has led me to pursue a career in the engineering field. After completion of my first degree in Mechanical Engineering from Dr. Babasaheb Ambedkar Marathwada University, it was quite plain to me that I wanted to enhance my vision and knowledge by undertaking postgraduate study. As Germany is renowned for its technical excellence and extreme engineering triumphs, my first choice was always to study there. Furthermore, by offering courses in English, Germany has opened the doors for an automotive enthusiast like me to get an in-depth insight of technical know-how.

From my interest in the technological developments in the automobile industry, I learned that the future of the automobile industry is in the polymer field, as most of the parts (body parts as well as under the hood parts) are made from different polymers. The percentage of polymer has increased from 5% to 14 %( by weight) in the last five decades and this amazing growth captured my attention towards this field and I took the admission for the Masters´ course in “Polymer Technology” offered at “Hochschule Aalen”. In this four semester course I have gained knowledge in polymer processing, polymer materials, mold design, CAD/CAE (Mold flow simulation) as well as DOE. During my 2nd semester I have learned how to develop a product starting from market research to the prototype stage, by taking part in a group project. I have also done my “Studienarbeit” on carbon nanotubes (which is the future of nanotechnology), where I learned how to approach a problem strategically, how to communicate within a team as well as with others and improved my presentation skills. In that project I also implemented the DOE software to optimize the injection molding process, which I learned in my 3rd semester. From my current work for “Fashy GmbH” as well as from my thesis work at “Norgren GmbH” I’ve gained some professional experience of the German Industry and learned to organize my tasks and time.

After acquiring good knowledge and some experience in the polymer field I’ve realized that to make a good career in the automotive industry (especially in Design and Development),only knowledge of polymer as well as the knowledge I’ve gained in my Bachelors (Fluid Mechanics, Production Technology, Strength of Materials, Machine Design, Industrial Management and Quality Control, Automobile Engineering etc) is not enough to cope up with the current market demands and I must get more of an in depth knowledge of the subjects like “structural analysis, FEM, NVH, Aero dynamics, MBS, advance strength of material”etc. to stand in the competition.

The course offered at “Hochschule Esslingen” has all the things which I’ve been looking for. Being one of the pioneer universities in automobile engineering in Baden Württemberg, the University of Esslingen has a strong tradition of research and development.They have a highly qualified faculty and well equipped laboratories and I have no doubts that I can improve my research skills-besides getting a solid grounding in the subjects.

In the last three years of my stay in Germany, I’ve learned many things on a technical, cultural as well as a personal base. I have adapted myself to the German lifestyle which conveys that I am flexible and can adapt myself to new environments. My good knowledge of the German helped me to understanding German cultutre well.

To sum up, I would like to say that I am very interested and highly motivated to attend this program because I think this course can expand my vision and help me further to achieve my career goals. I would really appreciate to receive an opportunity to study “Design and Development in Automotive and Mechanical Engineering at “Hochschule Esslingen”.

Thank you very much for considering my Application. I look forward to your positive response.