An important recomendation letter

[clrojasb82]

I am writing recommendation letter in order to apply for a scholarship, I really need that the recommendation being well writing. I will appreciate if someone could help me checking this:
Members of the Selection Committee:

I met Claudia Lucia Rojas five years ago first working for the team that developed the Master Plan of Sports and Recreational equipment in Bogotá, her entry into the work team as a junior architect by recommendation from her former employer and by the capabilities demonstrated in her college studies.

In that specific project, I played as a Urban Project Coordinator and Lucia was in charge for the park system and the system of sporting equipment under my supervision, which were formulated to meet the different scales of planning and organization of the city, work in which she presented very good results distinguished herself by her abilities in problem solving, her highly intelligent and her good analytical skills. Since that time, she showed her interest in Urban Studies therefore she studied Urban Design at the faculty of arts of National University of Colombia, once again she distinguished herself by the quality of the projects.

Based on this experience, last year I contacted her to work in my company which develops architectonic projects in different scales but especially focused on urban projects. During this time she has demonstrated her great capacity and dedication, for which have increased her responsibility in more complex projects. Nowadays she is the leader of the design of a District School in Bogota that has 11.000 meters of floor space in a complicated plot of land with a lot of requirements; this design is a clear example of her abilities to take advantage of the difficulties to develop creative and logical designs.
For me it is very gratifying recommend her for The Netherlands Fellowship Program, first of all because I studied Master of Urbanism at Delft University of Technology, due to that I am quite sure of the high quality of education that she would acquire besides of the enriching experience that would represent living in The Netherlands for her professional career. Secondly her perform as an architect is a good indication that she would be an extremely positive asset to your program.
Finally because she would have the enough knowledge in the Urbanism discipline to coordinate urban projects and to take active part in the making decisions process, being beneficial not only for our organization but also for our country, taking into account that our business is aimed to contribute to the improvement of Colombian cities and our duty as professionals training abroad is to contribute with a critically approach to urban issues through the production of creative solutions.
In conclusion I strongly believe that during the master program, Lucia will acquire the capabilities needed to develop as an excellent urban designer and planner and for that reason we promise to offer her keep working in OGU as leader of urban projects when she returns.

[Gillnetter]

Originally Posted by clrojasb82

I am writing recommendation letter in order to apply for a scholarship, I really need that the recommendation being well writing. I will appreciate if someone could help me checking this:
Members of the Selection Committee:

I met Claudia Lucia Rojas five years ago first working for the team that developed the Master Plan of Sports and Recreational equipment in Bogotá, her entry into the work team as a junior architect by recommendation from her former employer and by the capabilities demonstrated in her college studies.
{The first part should have three sentences. not one}

In that specific project, I played as was a Urban Project Coordinator and Lucia was in charge for the park system and the system of sporting equipment under my supervision, which were formulated to meet the different scales of planning and organization of the city, work in which she presented very good results distinguished herself by her abilities in problem solving, her highly intelligent and her good analytical skills. Since that time, she showed her interest in urban studies therefore she studied Urban Design at the faculty of arts of National University of Colombia, once again she distinguished herself by the quality of the projects.
{This part should have at least five sentences}

Based on this experience, last year I contacted her to work in my company which develops architectonic projects in different scales but especially focused on urban projects. During this time she has demonstrated her great capacity and dedication, for which have increased her responsibility in more complex projects. Nowadays she is the leader of the design of a district school in Bogota that has 11.000 meters of floor space in a complicated plot of land with a lot of many requirements; this design is a clear example of her abilities to take advantage of the difficulties and to develop creative and logical designs.
{This part should have at least four sentence}

For me, it is very gratifying recommend her for The Netherlands Fellowship Program, first of all because I studied Master of Urbanism at Delft University of Technology, due to that I am quite sure of the high quality of education that she would acquire besides of the enriching experience that would represent living in The Netherlands for her professional career. Secondly, her performance as an architect is a good indication that she would be an extremely positive asset to your program.
{This part should have at least four sentences}

Finally, because she would have the enough knowledge in the Urbanism discipline to coordinate urban projects and to take active part in the making decisions process, being beneficial not only for our organization but also for our country, taking into account that our business is aimed to contribute to the improvement of Colombian cities and our duty as professionals training abroad is to contribute with a critically approach to urban issues through the production of creative solutions.
{This part should have at least three sentences}

In conclusion, I strongly believe that during the master program, Lucia will acquire the capabilities needed to develop as an excellent urban designer and planner and for that reason we promise to offer her keep working in OGU as leader of urban projects when she returns.

I suggest that you rewrite this letter. After you have made a statement; stop. Long, involved sentences only serve to confuse the reader. A sentence with many commas probably could be written as many separate sentences. Here is an example of what I mean -

I met Claudia Lucia Rojas five years ago first working for the team that developed the Master Plan of Sports and Recreational equipment in Bogotá, her entry into the work team as a junior architect by recommendation from her former employer and by the capabilities demonstrated in her college studies.

---I met Claudia Lucia Rojas five years ago.(1) I was working for the team that developed the master plan for sports and recreational equipment in Bogota. (2)She entered the team as a junior architect upon the recommendation of her former employer along with the capabilities she had demonstrated in college. (3)

Once you write the simple sentences you can bring them together with linking words.

---I met Claudia Lucia Rojas five years ago. At the time I was working for the team that developed the master plan for sports and recreational equipment in Bogota. Luicia entered the team as a junior architect upon the strong recommendation of her former employer and upon the capabilities that she had demonstrated while she was in college. --