corrections in an informal letter
Hello,
Could you take a look pls at the letter one of my students just sent.
She did a good job, but some points should be clarified.
Dear Al,
I'm writing to inform you about the places I've found for us in England to stay in (for us to stay in England).
The first one is The Lion Hotel. I think there are some positive and negative moments in there (some positive and negative moments about it). It's situated in the city centre and it's popular with visitors from overseas. There are all rooms with private facilities ( all the rooms are with private facilities). I think it's positive things (it’s good) and it's quite convenient for us. But there is one negative moment. Staying in this central hotel for a week costs £150 per person. I think it's too expensive for us and we should get to know (find out) more about another (other) variants (I am always worried about the use of VARIANT; maybe OPTIONS would be better?). The second option is a room in a family house. I'm sure it's a good way to meet people. There are two single rooms where we'll (can) live and feel comfortable. Moreover, breakfast and evening meal are provided, so we shouldn't cook by ourselves like we had (would have ) to do in a student flat which I'll talk further about. The price is okay, I think, £350 per person per month including heating and laundry. I suppose we can afford it . But we don't know (anything about) the landlady; perhaps she'll be (is) strict. So (In this case we could choose) we can use the third variant (option). A student accomodation (The student flats) includes a living room, a kitchen where we'll have to cook by ourselves as I said before, a bathroom and a bedroom. It's located not far from the city centre, approximately 3 kms, but in comparing (compared with) with The Lion Hotel it's not too near (quite a long way). To rent this flat, we should pay £250 per month. It's cheap enough. Besides, we'll have to do the cleaning by ourselves and it's not convenient. Generalizing all suggestions (to sum up), I like the second one (option) best of all. But I'm not sure about it, I need your advice.
Please read this information and let me know what you liked best of all. Then we should decide where we'll are going to stay in.
Yours, sincerely
Thank you in advance.
Re: corrections in an informal letter
Quote:
Originally Posted by
vectra
Dear Al,
I'm writing to inform you about the places I've found for us to stay in England.
The first one is The Lion Hotel. I think there are some positives and some negatives about it. It's situated in the city centre and it's popular with visitors from overseas. All the rooms have private facilities and it's quite convenient for us. But staying in this central hotel for a week costs £150 per person. I think it's too expensive for us and we should consider alternatives.
The second option is a room in a family house. I'm sure it's a good way to meet people. There are two single rooms where we can live and feel comfortable. Moreover, breakfast and evening meal are provided, so we won't need to cook for ourselves like we would have to do in a student flat which I'll mention later. The price is okay, I think - £350 per person per month including heating and laundry. I suppose we can afford it, but we don't know anything about the landlady; perhaps she'll be strict.
The third option is student accomodation - a flat which includes a living room, a kitchen where we'll have to cook for ourselves as I said before, a bathroom and a bedroom. It's located not far from the city centre, approximately 3 kms, but compared to The Lion Hotel that's quite a long way away. To rent this flat, we would have to pay £250 per month. It's cheap enough. However, we'll have to do the cleaning ourselves and it's not convenient.
To sum up, I like the second option best of all. But I'm not sure about it; I need your input.
Please read this information and let me know what you prefer. Then we can decide where to stay.
Yours sincerely,
Rover
Re: corrections in an informal letter
Thanks a lot Rover,
Your reply came just in time for our English class. The girl who composed the letter was delighted to read your corrections.
Now she will definitely try to write her assignments in a concise way to get rid of a lot of unnecessary words.
Yours,