FORMAL LETTER: ASKING FOR FURTHER INFORMATION

[daniel2011]

Dear Mrs Brown,

I am writing to you in connection with your advertisement about your English Summer School.

Firstly, I would like to know where the school is and how to reach there from the nearest underground station. I would also like to know how big the classes are and what sort of facilities are provided.
Secondly, I would like some information on the dates I can register at school. In addition, I would also like to know what sort of leisure activities can be arranged.

Another matter I need information on is what type of accommodation is available. Would you also mind informing me if the price which appears in your brochure includes accommodation?

I look forward to your reply at your earliest convenience.

Daniel,

[Rover_KE]

That looks pretty good, Daniel.

Unless anybody else suggests improvements, you can confidently send this as is.

Rover

[daniel2011]

THANKS AGAIN ROVER! YOU'RE GREAT!

[birdeen's call]

I'm not happy with the placement of "secondly". To me, it's the third thing you want to know.

[daniel2011]

Yes, perhaps you're right...I just wanted to link the second paragraph to the first one. I think in the first paragraph I'm asking for similar information...But, I'll bear it mind! Thanks for your response!

[daniel2011]

What's more, in this kind of letter, the first paragraph shows the most important information someone wanna know...and in the second paragraph, there are some relevant questions not as important as those in paragraph 1...that's why I used "secondly"...maybe i'm wrong....I'll wait for more opinions!!!!

[amy001]

I would like to know where the school is and how to reach there from the nearest underground station. I would also like to know how big the classes are and what sort of facilities are provided.

[amy001]

reinvention (vs perfection), thermostat (VS thermometer), tribe (vs factory), yes / no (vs not yet) - words that have been refreshed in my vocabulary at home.