Pls check my Letter of complaint, FCE level

[tong-pu]

Subject:
Write a complaint about a tape recorder that stopped working after just two days since you've bought it.

-describe what is wrong with it
-write about your disappointemnt with the quality of the device
-describe what are the consequences of this situation
- offer some solution of this situation


I am writing to express my total dissatisfaction with purchase of a tape recorder that I made at your shops.


Two days ago I bought already mentioned tape recorder. For the first two days it was working without any
problems. I was able to play tapes, listen to some radio and even record favourite songs. To my surpprise
after those two days I was not able to record any track. To make matter worse the next day tape recorder
was copletly inoperative. Desptie the fact that it was pluged it did not react to any of my actions.

I am completly disapionted with the quality of equipement that can be bouth at you store. If we take
into consideration the price of that tape recorder you should not be astonished that people are expectiong
more than two days without any malfunctions of a device.

I am extremly outraged with this situation because the main reason of that purchase was to be able to record
my mothers most favourite radio shows. Because she is currently hospitalized she can not listen to them
when they are being brodcasted. As you can see that tape recorder is not only a problem because it is damaged,
but also it is impossible for my mother to listen what she missed when she will be released form the hospital.

Unless you will provedie me new tape recorder as soon as it is possible I will be forced to take some further legal actions. Please keep in mind that I will demand a refound for the malfunctioning equipement as well as
for moral aspect of that issue.

I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Your faithfully,
Andrew

[5jj]

This appears to be a homework assignment. If you have any questions about your mistakes after it has been returned to you, we may be able to help. We do not, however, help with homework assignments before they have been submitted. Your teacher wants to know what you can do, not what we can.

[tong-pu]

As in second thread...

[luschen]

Hi, I am not a teacher, but I thought I could give you some tips from a native English speaker's perspective. You are very creative - I like how you brought your poor suffering granny into the discussion! Overall, your letter was very readable, I just made some small word choice and grammatical corrections. By the way, [sp] means a spelling error.

Subject:

I am writing to express my total dissatisfaction with purchase of a tape recorder that I made at your shops [ the tape recorder I purchased at your shop several days ago.


Two days ago I bought already mentioned tape recorder. For the first two days it was working without any
problems. I was able to play tapes, listen to some radio [use the instead of some - some makes it sound like the radio could not play some stations ] and even record [my] favourite songs. To my surprise
after those two days I was not [not is ok, but no longer would be better] able to record any track[songs]. To make matter[s] worse the next day [the] tape recorder
was copletly[sp] inoperative. Desptie[sp] the fact that it was pluged[plugged in] it did not react[respond - react seems to imply something alive] to any of my actions [ the controls or you could say "my attempts to make it work"].

I am completly disapionted [sp] with the quality of [the] equipement[sp] that can be bouth[you sell - try to avoid passive voice] at you[r] store. If we take
into consideration the price of that tape recorder you should not be astonished that people[customers] are expectiong[expect]
more than two days without any malfunctions of a device [this is awkward, I would say "the device to function for more than two days without malfunctioning].

I am extremly [sp] outraged with[about or over] this situation because the main reason of that[for this] purchase was to be able to record
my mother's most[most is redundant here] favourite radio shows. Because she is currently hospitalized she can not listen to them
when[while] they are being brodcasted[sp]. As you can see[,] that[the] tape recorder is not only a problem because it is damaged,
but also [because - need to keep parallel structure in sentence] it is impossible for my mother to listen [to] what she missed when she will be[is] released form [sp] the hospital.

Unless you will provedie [sp] me [with a] new tape recorder as soon as it is possible[,] I will be forced to take some further[you can't say further because you haven't take any legal action at all yet] legal action. Please keep in mind that I will demand a refound[sp] for the malfunctioning equipement[sp] as well as
for moral aspect of that issue[not sure how to word this part, in the U.S. we might say "as well as for the pain and suffering you have caused".

I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Your[s] faithfully,
Andrew

[tong-pu]

Thanks for the effort.
It is not good but still not that bad either. I was expecting more mistakes espetially because I have some problems with misspelling letter in words.
I will post more of such examples if this will not be a problem. I hopesomebody will find time to correct it.
Thanks again