complete the letter

[Dmitrij]

Hi everyone,
I understand how hard it is to correct someone else’s writings, all right! You don't need to create a new one. Just look at this.
Now I am presenting it like a BIG-gap-fill exercise. Let’s talk about

WRITING TASK 1

You want to study in Britain. Write a letter to the president to change one of your courses and inquire some relevant information. You do NOT need to write your own address.

Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir/ Madam,

Below are my suggestions (commentaries to clarify some ideas are given in the brackets)

Dear Sir/ Madam,

(First, EXPLAIN YOUR MATTER IN BRIEF)

I am writing you to inquire about … (What should I put here?)

(Next, DESCRIBE THE SITUATION IN DETAIL.)

(As I got it from the question a person would like to study in Britain. Where? If it is a British university or college you probably should give your educational background. Any suggestions?)

I graduated from secondary school in Russia this year and I am planning to continue my education in Britain.
(Any other facts?)

After careful consideration I decided to apply for admission to your college, since I think it is the best place to advance my career.

My area of concentration in … (college) will be … (specialty)….

(the best I’ve managed to think up)


(After that, ACTIONS TO BE TAKEN)

I am interested in receiving more information …

(Right here I should request course change and relevant info. The problem is I can’t imagine what kind of change of what kind of course I might need to change. What relevant information exists, anyway?)

(Finally, CLOSE YOUR LETTER)

Enclosed is a self-addressed, stamped envelope for your convenience in replying. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Yours faithfully,
Signature

FEEL FREE TO CHANGE ANY PART OF MY WRITING

[Tdol]

OK, I'm in a rush, so I am going to make a couple of suggestions now and will be back later for more.

First, I'd start the l;etter by saying:
I am writing to ask whether it is possiblle to change one of my courses.

I'd finish with:
Thjanking you in adv ance, I look forward to hearing from you,

[Dmitrij]

Dear tdol,

Thank you for your attention to my request. The fog is going to clear out, isn't it? So I will begin as follows

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing to ask whether it is possiblle to change one of my courses.

I graduated from secondary school in Russia this year and I am planning to continue my education in Britain. Does it look right to you?
After careful consideration I decided to apply for admission to your college, since I think it is the best place to advance my career. What next? Time to get down to facts. Anyone to develop the context?
......................

Enclosed is a self-addressed, stamped envelope for your convenience in replying.


Thank you in advance and look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours faithfully,

..................