No one respond me still,Please check my informal letter

:cry:It's third time,but no one respond me still,Please check my informal letter as much as you can

Topic :

Last month you had a holiday overseas where you stay with some friends. They have just send you some photos of your holiday.

Write a letter to your friends. In your letter

- Thank them for the photos and for the holiday

- Explain why you didn't write earlier

- Invite them to come and stay with you.

*************************************************

Dear Bob,

I am writing this letter to appreciate your amazing photos and all that you did for me in last holiday.

First of all, sorry for my delay. I had to write this letter 10 days ago. I was so busy and didn’t have any time for it. I had to prepare myself for an exam. It was very difficult for me and I was studying 16 hours a day. Finally, I took the exam yesterday. Thereupon, I could check your letter and saw your photos. Those were wonderful and made me so happy. I didn't think you could do this. It will be a great memorial for me. Every time I see these photos, I will remember you and our friends.

Well, I would like to invite you and other friends to my house in Paris next summer. I have a little surprise for you. Please let me know when you could
come here.

All the best,

John.

Not a teacher

this n' that
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This is the third time I've posted,but no one has responded yet - please check my informal letter. Thank You.
Topic :

Last month you had a holiday overseas, where you stayed with some friends. They have just sent you some photos of your holiday.
Write a letter to your friends, and in your letter:
- Thank them for the photos and for the accomodations.
- Explain why you didn't write earlier.
- Invite them to come and stay with you.
*************************************************
Dear Bob,

I am writing this letter to thank you for your amazing photos, and everything that you did for me during my holiday.
First of all, sorry for my delay - (I had to write this letter 10 days ago.?) I was very busy and didn’t have any spare time. I had to prepare for an exam. It was very difficult for me, and I studied 16 hours a day. I took the exam yesterday. Then I had time to read your letter and see your photos. They were wonderful and made me very happy. (I didn't think you could do this.?) It will be a great memory (a memorial is a funeral service!) for me. Every time I see these photos, I will remember you and our friends, and the good times we had.
Well, I would like to invite you to my house in Paris next summer. I have a little surprise for you. Please let me know when you can
come.

Thanks a lot for your notice, It was very helpful for me.

There are no guarantees that people will correct your writing. People come in post as they want- with writing some gets done and some doesn't. If you want a proofreading service, there are many professional sites where you can pay to get things proofread.