Formal letter of complaint

[minnie29]

Here is my essay draft of formal letter to complaint one thing.
And I complainted bad service of one online shop.
I want to get some suggestions for my revising.




To Whom It May Concern:

I want to complaint about my last shopping experience of your online shop. One month ago, I ordered two skirts of the same style but in two colors, black and white from your online shop.
First, I have been waiting for over almost three months for the same things without reasonable explanation. Secondly, I received wrong product twice after I asked customer service about to returning the products. Third, the servicer told me that the Black Cats delivery person would take the products from my dorm and she at a schedule I find convenient but the delivery person didn’t show up as scheduled. So I sent the products back by myself via the post office instead. During the waiting time no one contacted me and I paid for the postage of returning wrong products twice without any compensations or discount.
This was a really inefficient process and unpleasant experience. I wouldn’t shop on your online shop again unless you are willing to improve. I thought the high evaluation on the online shop could be trusted but I was really disappointed. I hope you would have much better staff training, storage controlling, close connection with cooperating delivery company and make your delivering process. I like your products but it’s a pity to have such poor service. I am looking forward to hearing from you.

[Gillnetter]

Here is my essay draft of a formal letter to complaint about one thing.
And I complainted complained about the bad service of one online shop.
I want to get some suggestions for my revising.


To Whom It May Concern:

I want to complaint about my last shopping experience of on your online shop. One month ago, I ordered two skirts of the same style but in two colors, black and white, from your online shop.
First, I have been waiting for over almost three months for the same these things without a reasonable explanation. Secondly, I received the wrong product twice after I asked customer service about to returning the products. Third, the servicer told me that the Black Cats delivery person would take the products from my dorm and she at a schedule I find convenient, but the delivery person didn’t show up as scheduled. So I sent the products back by myself via the post office instead. During the waiting time no one contacted me and I paid for the postage of returning the wrong products twice without any compensations or discount. (You started with "First" and then used "Secondly" and then used "Third". To be consistent use only one form - First, Second, Third, or, Firstly, Secondly, Thirdly.)
This was a really inefficient process and an unpleasant experience. I wouldn’t shop on your online shop again unless you are willing to improve. I thought the high evaluation on the your online shop could be trusted but I was really disappointed. I hope you would will have much better staff training, storage controlling, and a close connection with the cooperating delivery company and make your delivering process better in the future. I like your products but it’s a pity to have such poor service. I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Here are a few suggestions for improving your essay. Pay more attention to the use of articles.