Request Letter

[Ferdie11]

Please help me correct any errors in the letter below. Or please give me advice on how to do it better. Thanks so much.

Dear XYZ:

I am writing to formally request your approval of my enrollment this semester as a junior student. Let me also take this opportunity to apologize for not informing you that I could not continue my studies last year because I really had to find a job to financially help myself and support my family. But now, I have an opportunity to pursue my studies again.
I’m hoping for your favorable response.

[Ferdie11]

Gil

How about this?

I am writing to request your approval of my enrollment this semester as a third-year student. Let me also take this opportunity to apologize for not informing you that I could not continue my studies last year. I had to work to financially help myself and support my family. Now, I have an opportunity and have decided to pursue my studies again.
I’m hoping for your favorable response.

Thanks so much.