How can l make this paragraph in my cover letter flow

[Shiva the God of death]

I am applying for a summer internship position with CG Power Systems in hopes to gain hands-on experience to complement my academic background. Currently, I am a fourth year student at the University of Toronto , pursuing a bachelor’s degree in Electrical Engineering. My focus area is Energy and Power Systems. I have a thorough understanding of systems and concepts used in the generation, transmission, delivery, utilization, storage and control of electric power and energy. This semester I am taking a course which deals with the constructional features, analysis, modeling, and applications of three phase transformers. Your company being a one of the world’s top ten manufacturers of three-phase transformers, working for it as a summer intern would provide me with an opportunity to work with the very best in the world and solidify my understanding of power systems.

I am an engineering student who also happen to have english as his second language. I would need help to make this paragraph in my cover letter flow nicely and eloquently. What changes can l make ? Your help is greatly appreciated.

[tedtmc]

How cando l make this paragraph in my cover letter flow

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am applying wish to apply for a summer internship position with CG Power Systems in hopes to gain hands-on experience to complement my academic background.

Currently, I am a fourth year student at the University of Toronto , pursuing a bachelor’s degree in Electrical Engineering. My focus area is Energy and Power Systems. I have a thorough understanding of the systems and concepts used in the generation, transmission, delivery, utilization, storage and control of electric power and energy. This semester, I am taking a course which deals with the constructional features, analysis, modeling(BrE modelling), and applications of three-phase transformers. Your company, being a one of the world’s top ten manufacturers of three-phase transformers, working for it as a summer intern would provide me with an the opportunity to work with the very best in the world and solidify. The experience gained would reinforce my understanding of power systems.


I am an engineering student who also happen to have english as his and English is my second language. I would need help to make this paragraph in my cover letter flow nicely and eloquently. What changes can l make ? Your help is greatly appreciated.

[Shiva the God of death]

Thanks very much for the help. I wrote my last paragraph of the cover letter, is it alright :

My academic qualifications meet the requirements for internship positions within your company. I am a very dedicated individual with strong problem solving skills, a passion to learn new things, and an unmatched tenacity and ability to complete challenging tasks. I believe that my experience, passion and drive for excellence will prove to be an asset to your company. Thank you very much for your consideration in this matter.

[tedtmc]

My academic qualifications meet the requirements for internship positions within your company. I am a very dedicated individual person with strong problem-solving skills, a passion to learn new things (no comma here) and an unmatched tenacity and ability to complete challenging tasks. I believe that my experience, passion and drive for excellence will prove to be an asset to your company. Thank you very much for your consideration in this matter.

I wouldn't say I am 'unmatched' in anything.