hello

i have to write a letter to an organization requestign for financial assistance...
the letter i hv written is

Respected sir,
We have been organizing many events in the club for students of the college and outside the college. Every year like we organize blood donation camps, we also organize a management based event for the betterment of college students.This year as well ,the club is coming up with a financial event in which paticipants with a keen knowledge and background of stock market will have to strategise themself in order to maximize profits and win the game.
This year the club has not be able to generate enough funds for conducting the event. Hence we were in requirement of some financial assistance.
Our club and ur organization have been in relation from a very long time and we have been regular customers .
We would be highly obliged if your organization could aid us financially with some amount.
It would bea great help

Hoping for a positive response

yours sincerely,
xyz



is this sounding unprofessional or too informal... or is it apt...?? please suggest changes.....