Please help proof read my letter of motivation

[vjoy]

Hi all,

I am new to this forum. I'm applying for a Master course in Europe and would be glad if someone here can help revise the letter of motivation for me.
Many thanks,

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to you to apply for the Master’s Degree in Computer Science and Communication Engineering in which I am particularly interested.

I completed bachelor’s degree in Computer Science and Information Technology from Jawaharlal Nehru Technical University in India. Since 3.7 years, I have been working for Appro System after my bachelor study. Thus I gained a valuable practical experience in Application Support activities.

My aim is to work in an international field related to Information technology industry. Therefore I would like to gain a deeper theoretical knowledge in computer science.

This interdisciplinary Master degree course will help full for my ample future career and will provide me the knowledge and confidence to realize my dreams.

I believe that both my skills and personal attributes match the requirements you seek for this role and that I would be able to effectively contribute to the team and the organisation.

I would appreciate the opportunity to meet with you to discuss my application and look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours Sincerely
vjay

[charliedeut]

Hi all,

I am new to this forum. I'm applying for a Master course in Europe and would be glad if someone here can help revise the letter of motivation for me.
Many thanks,

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to you in order to apply for the Master’s Degree in Computer Science and Communication Engineering, in which I am particularly interested.

I completed a/the bachelor’s degree in Computer Science and Information Technology from Jawaharlal Nehru Technical University in India in 2009. Since 3.7 yearsSince then, I have been working for Appro System after my bachelor study. There, I gained a valuable practical experience in Application Support activities.

My aim is to work in an international field related to the Information technology industry. Therefore, I would like to gain acquire a deeper theoretical knowledge in computer science.

This interdisciplinary Master degree course will help full for [I'm not sure what you mean here; maybe "will undoubtedly be of great value for my future carrer] my ample future career and will provide me the knowledge and confidence to realize my dreams.

I believe that both my skills and personal attributes match the requirements you seek for this role and that I would will be able to effectively contribute to the team and the organisation.

I would appreciate the opportunity to meet with you to discuss my application and look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours Sincerely
vjay

Hi and welcome vjoy,

This is how I would write it for myself.

charliedeut

[billmcd]

Hi all,

I am new to this forum. I'm applying for a Master course in Europe and would be glad if someone here can help revise the letter of motivation for me.
Many thanks,

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to you to apply This is my letter of application for the Master’s Degree in Computer Science and Communication Engineering in which I am particularly interested.

I completed my Bachelor’s Degree in Computer Science and Information Technology from Jawaharlal Nehru Technical University in India. Since 3.7 years, I have been working for Appro System after my bachelor study (either "since 2008" or "for three years, seven months) Thus I have gained a valuable practical experience in Application Support activities.

My aim is to work in an international field related to the information technology industry. Therefore, I would like to gain a deeper theoretical knowledge in computer science.

This interdisciplinary Masters Degree course will would be help full helpful for my ample future career and will provide me the knowledge and confidence to realize my dreams.

I believe that both my skills and personal attributes match the requirements you seek for this role and that I would be able to effectively contribute to the team and the organisation.

I would appreciate the opportunity to meet with you to discuss my application and look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours Sincerely
vjay

Nice work. Good luck.

[vjoy]

Thanks for your help
especially

charliedeut and billmcd
really its helpful to me

if you dont mind
i am sending one more last and final help proof read my recommendation letter please:

LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION

As an Associate Professor of xxxx College, I have had the pleasure of knowing xxxx while he was studying his four years Bachelor Degree of Computer Science & Information technology.

or

This letter is to recommend xxxx for higher studies in your esteemed university. I have known Vijay for four years when I was teaching to his class during his study.

I feel confident that he will continue to succeed in his studies. xxxx is a dedicated, intelligent and very active student. He is help full to others by clarifying the doubts, explaining the topics and giving guide lines to how to write the Program. His advice has been a great help to his peers. With his pleasant and encouraging attitude things everybody likes him in the class.

It is for these reasons that I offer high recommendations for xxxx without reservation. Her drive and abilities will truly be an asset to your establishment. If you have any questions regarding this recommendation, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Sincerely,
xxxxxx