Please check - Letter of motivation [master's degree]

Good morning,

First of all, thank you very much for your help, I found this forum a few days ago and I've been reading through it since then. I am applying for a master's degree and took a lot of clues and hints from any other letters you posted here. Look forward to your revision, thank you.

( Please dont wonder why I'm not talking about the country, Im german and want to study at a german university, but they still want me to send a letter of motivation in english )

Quote:

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Dear Sir or Madam

I am writing to you to express my interest in applying for the Master Progamme of xxx at the xxx, scheduled to start in October 2012. I appreciate this opportunity and I would like to provide further information about my personality and motivation.

My name is xxx and I’m currently studying business economics at the xxx, which I will graduate from in August 2012. During my time at the University of xxx, I’ve gained a strong academic background in the fields of marketing, management and human resource management. Combined with my work experience in the field of new media and recruitment marketing and my leadership experience I am confident that I will fulfill your requirements.

The first time I acknowledged my strong interest for marketing and communications was during my practical semester at the xxx in Cologne. Based on a market research it was my task to identify new ways to acquire qualified applicants using new media communication. Together with the head of human resource management and corporate communications I’ve developed and discussed an all round concept. Working with different media agencies I found ways to implement our ideas. Within several months I’ve gained the professional and technical competences to become a key person for my company about providing advices in the field of new media and communication. That is what I want to focus on.

My professional goal is to work in a leading position for a well known agency in the fields of marketing and communication after successfully finishing my master’s degree. This Master Programme will contribute positively to the evolution of my career. It allows me to gain more theoretical knowledge about the necessary general and strategic management of media agencies, project and customer management as well as practical experience by realizing my own extensive media project.

I see myself as an ambitious, focused and social oriented person, which I can proof with my engagement for the General Students’ Committee from 2008 till 2011. As head of the department for higher education politics I learned how to convey my views towards higher institutions and organizations such as the ministry of education. During my chairmanship I could proof my leading abilities by organizing and coordinating the activities of all departments. Furthermore it was my job to manage fiscal and actuarial concerns. I always enjoyed my fellow students trust and the reputation I gained from the training staff for my good work. This was a personal experience I don’t want to miss and which has sharpened my organization, team working and communication skills I’ll need to meet the highly competitive demands of this master’s program.

I am certain that my previous academic career, my strong interest and existing knowledge in economic topics, my ambition and eagerness to broaden my horizon and educate myself further make me a highly suitable candidate for the xxx master program at your university.

Thank you for considering my application.

Yours Sincerely,

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Hello Alexander. Good luck on your application. Be careful about capitalization. For example, you wrote english and german instead of English and German.


Dear Sir or Madam

My name is xxx and I am writing to you to express my interest in applying for the Master Progamme of xxx at the xxx, scheduled to start in October 2012. I appreciate this opportunity and I would like to provide further information about myself and motivation.

I’m currently studying Business Economics at the xxx [I assume this is the name of your current univeristy?], and will graduate in August 2012. During my time at the University of xxx, I’ve gained a strong academic background in the fields of marketing, management and human resource management. Combined with my work experience in the field of new media and recruitment marketing and my leadership experience I am confident that I will fulfill your requirements.

The first time I realized my passion for marketing and communications was during my practical semester at the xxx in Cologne. Based on a market research, it was my task to identify new ways to acquire qualified applicants using new media communication. Together with the head of Human Resource Management and Corporate Communications, I developed and discussed an integrated concept. Working with different media agencies, I found ways to implement our ideas. Within several months I’ve gained the professional and technical competences to become a key person in my company about providing advices in the field of new media and communication. That is what I want to focus on in my continuing studies [maybe?].

My professional goal is to work in a leading position for a well-known agency in the field of marketing and communication after successfully finishing my master’s degree. This Master Programme will contribute positively to the evolution of my career. It will allow me to gain more theoretical knowledge about the necessary general and strategic management of media agencies, project and customer management, as well as practical experience by realizing my own extensive media project.

I see myself as an ambitious, focused and socially oriented person, as demonstrated by my engagement with the General Students’ Committee from 2008 till 2011. As head of the department for higher education politics I learned how to convey my views towards higher institutions and organizations such as the Ministry of Education. During my chairmanship, I organize and coordinated [You don't need to "prove" anything - it's not a court. Show it by what you did, not by saying "I was a leader!"] the activities of all departments. Additionally, it was my responsiblity to manage fiscal and actuarial concerns. I always enjoyed the trust of my fellow students and the reputation I gained from the training staff for my good work. This was a personal experience I'm proud of and which has sharpened the organization, team working and communication skills I’ll need to meet the highly competitive demands of this master’s program.

I am certain that my previous academic career, my strong interest and existing knowledge in economic topics, my ambition and eagerness to broaden my horizon and educate myself further make me a highly suitable candidate for the xxx master program at your university.

Thank you for considering my application.

Yours Sincerely,

Thank you very very much! I never expected someone to help me that fast. Thanks to you I now have a peace of mind. By the way, what do you think about my english skills in general? Im planing on taking the TOEFL or any other certificate.
Greetings

I have a soft spot in my heart for Germans right now because my daughter just returned from a trip there. Usually I don't do letters. :)

I think your English is quite good - the only thing to really pay attention to is your capitalization, and like everyone, prepositions. Considering how many things auf can me, it would be amazing if you did get all the prepositions right.